You've Got To Believe In Me

15 April, 2009 (2:29am) - 17 April, 2009 (3:05am)
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Logan Luca needed to get out of the constricting walls of the school that he had now resided in for several weeks. He felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t get out, even if the weather was pitifully raining. It suited his mood though. He felt as if his brow was permanently furrowed these days as every girl in his life seemed to either loathe him, or feel the need to throw objects at his head. It made him realize how badly he had screwed things up when he had left. Obviously people were attached to him, and truthfully he was attached to them too, but he didn’t realize that by leaving, he would be actually causing a lot of discourse at the school between several other girls that were in his life. There was one girl, however that mattered the most out of all of them.

The only girl that could ever break down the walls of Logan’s stone cold heart, Aurelia Argent. Of course, he was partially in love with his best friend, Bella, but something told him that that was a different sort of love. They would always have each other, but they wouldn’t never work out long term. They were too much alike to actually work out. He couldn’t bring himself to actually be exclusive to Bella because he had associated so much of their relationship with just casual sex and friendly, witty banter. Aurelia was different, Aurelia had been the first girl that he had consciously fallen in love with and hadn’t stopped it. He let himself fall for her, he let himself get wrapped up in everything that she was and they had a nearly flawless relationship up until his near break down. She would never know how much he truly had loved her, he didn’t know how to express that to her, even if he knew that it might have actually done some good for his reasons for coming back. No doubt, he still would have gotten slapped.

He slipped on a pair of dark wash denim jeans, a white button down long sleeved shirt and a black and gray argyle sweater. The collar was out and popped slightly as his dark hair danced against his angular features. He had let his hair grow out since he had returned so the dark locks were tousled and a little messy, but it only made him stand out more in the large school. He stepped out onto the grounds, instead of moving towards the lake, which was his normal thinking spot, he moved towards to the courtyard. It was only raining lightly at this point, the light pitter patter of the rain hitting his shoulders and running down his hair. He liked the rain, truthfully, so it didn’t matter to him. It didn’t look like anyone was really out at the moment, so he allowed the time to take in a deep breath, shove his hands in his pockets and take large strides closer to the courtyard.

His eyes landed on the Whit gazebo that stood in the middle of the overly green gardens of the school. It stood out in contrast against the foresty color of the grounds, but that wasn’t what caught his eyes. He spotted dark brown hair, and a lithe figure he could pick out of a million other girls. He would never forget it, even if it was just her backside. He had memorized her, every single small detail of her body, every freckle on her skin to the way her hair fell across her face and the slight pout of her lips that was only natural and made her all the more adorable. His heart sped up, like it was easily going to burst out of the constricted walls. He couldn’t help but speed up as he reached the steps of the gazebo, stepping inside, he ran a slender hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. ’Aurelia?” he asked, even if he knew that it was her. The same rush of emotions that he always had fled back to him. He felt giddy and excited like a teenage boy with his first crush. He wanted to hug her, and keep her close to him, but he wanted to make sure her hands were firmly planted at her sides first. His jaw was still recovering from the slap in the dining hall.
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Aurelia tugged lightly at her hair and gathered it up at the nape of her neck. She was walking through the halls, idling a bit between the middle hours of the day, not really destined to end anywhere in particular. It had been a slow day - it was dusky and drizzly outside, and there had been a constant, but nonetheless beautiful, light rain that had misted the grounds of the school all day. The only downside was that the fog tended to move inside the school, making Aurelia shiver lightly but still needing to move her thick locks from her neck to alleviate the heat. It was one of those off days - something that seemed to come from an other world. All day, Aurelia had been waiting for something to happen, and she couldn't tell if what she was waiting for would be terrible or not. Somehow, though, she could tell that this was one of those days that she might remember farther down the road. Not for its date, necesarrily, but for the events that bestowed theirselves upon this day.

Despite this, Aurelia had treated it like every other day, or at least every other day of her newer mode of life. She'd joined Aife at breakfast and watched as the older girl had not eaten a piece of her food, then had moped about the Rouerie common room, watching a tournament of Wizarding Chess. The games had bored her soon enough, though, and Aurelia had slipped out, her hands tucked into the pockets of her pants. Now she was walking about, loitering, if you wish, and she was headed now for one of the courtyards. She let her hair fall against her back once more and ran a hand through its length. Just then one of the various courtyards on the grounds came into view, and Aurelia walked through the doorway, her hand trailing against the door frame. It was one she hadn't really noticed before, and to her surprise a gazebo was situated in the middle of the dewy greens and flowers.

Aurelia made her way for the little shelter, her fingers running over a brilliant purple daffodil before she mounted the stairs. The little space was simple with peeling white paint that shone grey in the air, hedged with the muted colours of a rainbow of flowers. Aurelia took a look about, and found that the structure was simple and clean, with a seat that ran between the two entrances. She sat on one of the seats and pulled her sweater closer about her. There wasn't anything on her - nothing she could do, but she didn't mind. Thinking was something she'd been doing a lot, and there was usually one subject that was permanently fixed in her mind. She still hadn't seen him, and now that she'd returned the thought of Logan Luca affected her in a different way than it ever had before. This way of feeling felt more ... human, if one could believe that. She was usually cold or indifferent, and if not either of those, she was intense and full of feeling, but on an entirely different level.

This level of feeling was entirely new to her, and Aurelia wondered how it was that Logan could cause feelings that she'd never experienced before in her life, to bloom so easily in her. It was something that absolutely terrified her, and this was why she had yet to begin searching him out for any sort of peace. She wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it if he were okay and off with that friend of his having the time of his life and falling head over heels in love with someone else. She could handle it if he were just screwing around with people - after all it was something she did often enough. But it was something all together different if he was emotionally involved with love and feelings and whatnot. Now that was something she wouldn't be able to just sit down and take, but no longer could she fight to be better or win or have the upper hand. The only fight she had left in her was one whose outcome was definite and single, and if that was not the result of any conversation or trial with Logan, then she might as well go home.

The rain was increasing slowly, but steadily; the pitter patter of droplets filled Aurelia's ears and brought her to an odd calm. She felt that, whatever happened, she might be all right, and for once she didn't feel nearly as pessimistic as she usually did. Allowing herself this moment of peace, she sat back and let everything fade into the back ground. Her fingers ran through the chocolate strands of hair, forming little braids that ended smoothly, and she let herself settle into a sort of lazy serenity. Her mind wandered in and out of consciousness, and she began to almost feel sleepy. The purple, tired lids of her eyes drooped lightly, and she heard the distant sound of question as someone uttered her name. Her lids fluttered open, and she turned, then felt them widen as she beheld the very last person she expected, but most possibly the very person she wanted to see most in the world.

Logan stood in the door, framed by the odd little fading of light that could only be produced by the steady rain of the south of France. Aurelia's brows furrowed lightly, and her eyes began to lose their heaviness as she was jerked back to reality. Thoughts of what she might have done weeks, months ago were hurled into and directly out of her mind, and she sat there, gaping. Fate, once more, had thrown the two of them together, and all Aurelia could think of was how she didn't want to do anything that might make him leave, and how she only wanted to touch him and hug him and kiss him and feel the sharp line of his jaw in her palms and run her fingers and lips across his thick, black, lashes. And so she stood, her arms stretched ahead of her, and before she knew what she was doing she found herself falling into his arms and holding tightly to the one person who made her feel whole and loved and at peace.
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When Logan had first arrived at the school that he was reluctantly coming back too, he had expected that those around him whom he had been closest with before he left wouldn’t be very ecstatic about his return. After all, he did leave without even so much as an owl in the hands of those he loved, and a year was a long time for the boy to be gone without even another word since then. However, the meeting with Bella had gone better then expected. She did throw a shoe at his head, but it didn’t hurt as much as the slap across his face that Aurelia had adorned the day he had met up with her. Logan stood defensively as she turned around to face him, his eyes landing on hers, and he nearly needed to take another breath because the wind had gotten knock out of his chest. She was the only girl to do that, just with one simple look she made his heart beast faster and his hands balmy. She had absolutely no idea the effects that she had on him. Truthfully, Logan had expected that she was going to furrow her brow and get all huffy like she normally did when she was mad at him or ready to storm out of a room. Of course, he had seen it numerous times, from the time in Detention, to the many times throughout their short lived relationship to the time after she slapped him. It was who Aurelia was, when she got pissed off or angry, she had to walk away instead of facing it. Of course, that’s where Logan became persistent. He went after her, followed her and demanded her attention.

What he didn’t expect was the arms that were outstretched and coming towards him. It was almost like time stopped as she closed the small gap between them and she was tucked safely in his arms. It was overwhelming, because it had taken him completely off guard. At first, he stood there, completely bewildered and unable to comprehend the fact that he was now holding her. A few seconds rolled by before his arms found her back, running along her spine affectionately as he let out the breath he had been holding. He hadn’t realized that he hadn’t taken a breath for nearly a whole minute and he finally realized when his chest burned and he let out the breath, instinctively holding her close to him so that there was nearly no space between them. He could hear her breathing, he could hear the pitter patter of the rain on the roof of the gazebo and he could smell the green in the air. But it didn’t compare to the smell of Aurelia. She looked different, but her smell was exactly the same. He closed his eyes and buried his head in the crook of her neck.

Logan didn’t know if heaven existed, but if it did, he was sure this would be exactly what his would be. This was the only thing he wanted. Of course, he had the mix up of emotions with Bella, but his heart laid with Aurelia, and in that very moment, he realized it always would. His right hand moved up her back to her neck, intertwining his fingers in the dark brown locks of her hair, keeping her body close to him. For a few moments, he didn’t want to say anything, he didn’t have words that he could say that would be as impact as the moment was between the two of him. His breathing was steady and he was comfortable next to him. He pulled away slightly, he wanted to see her. He hadn’t truly seen her and looked at her since his return. He saw her face for a split second before her hand made its away across his face and he was seeing the back of her head. He wanted to look at her, and he had no fear because he knew that she wasn’t going to slap him this time. She was giving in to him, even though he hadn’t really pushed anything with her. He was changed, and even though he knew that he loved her, if she didn’t love him back, he would try his hardest to move on in only the most Logan way, sleeping with as many girls has he could to fill the temporary void that would only be truly filled by one person.

”You were never just a fling.” he said finally, breaking the deafening silence, but keeping his voice low to keep the mood light. Although his words were anything but light. His voice nearly cracked as he spoke to her, his body was nearly bursting with happiness. ”It was never just for fun, Aurelia.” He spoke again, this time leaning his forehead against hers, his hands tightening on her waist as his breathing ricocheted off her neck and mouth. He had butterflies in his stomach, and he felt nervous. Aurelia was making Logan Elie Luca nervous. He closed his eyes again, taking in a deep breath and keeping her as close as physically possible while still clothed. He pulled away from her forehead, his hand drifting up to the front of her neck, running the pads of his fingertips along her jaw line, moving closer, he pressed his lips to her cheek, a long lingering kiss that was nothing but affectionate. He was a mix of scared, terrified, excited, and euphoric, but the main thing that was prevalent in his own mix of thoughts; His feeling for the girl in front of him had only gotten stronger in his absence and now his return.
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Aurelia hugged tightly to Logan's sweater, her hands clutching at his back and nostrils drawing his scent, still cedar and lime and then that warm underlying that was only him. Her lids fell over her olive orbs and she squeezed them tightly, but then she loosened them and let them fill with fat, glossy tears. There was no more holding back anymore - not for her. Foolishly, she didn't stop to think that maybe Logan had found someone else, or that maybe he didn't want her any longer. The fear of rejection - it was something that she'd once been really, truly afraid of, even though she'd never let it show before. After all, she was Aurelia - who ever rejected her? It was a convenient enough disguise. But now when the shade of fear crossed her mind, she pushed it far away. There was no more room for fear or reservations - not anymore. There was only room for she and Logan; her love, and then whatever love he might still have for her.

And so, when his arms first tightened around her, after that singular yet heart stopping pause of hesitancy, Aurelia felt like a little bit of weight was lifted from her shoulders. Logan did not hate her, at least. His chest rose and fell steadily beneath her cheek, and Aurelia felt that, despite the frenzied fluttering of her heart and rush of hot blood to her cheeks and slender fingers, this was indeed a calm and complete moment. Then he moved away, an action that made her heart leap and fall, and she lay her palms against his solid cheekbones, as if to beg, do not leave me'. But no, his eyes caught on hers and held them; they were warm and bright and full and he looked like he were about to burst from holding in too much of everything.

'You were never just a fling.' Logan's voice was soft, and as it broke through the drizzle and silence, Aurelia heart and breath quickened. Her eyes stung and she was shaking, as if she might combust at any second. She gulped, trying to keep at bay whatever might come out - oh dearest Merlin let it not be sobs. Logan's forehead leaned in and touched hers, sending a shock of warmth across her skin. His hands tightened about her waist and she could feel the moist heat from his mouth as it swept across her flesh. 'It was never just for fun, Aurelia.' His eyes disappeared beneath the thick, black lashes, and he pulled away ever so slightly, allowing his hands to sweep a along the lines of her neck. The hot tips of his slender fingers played against her jaw and he leaned down to kiss her cheek, his hot lips lingering lovingly.

Lips quivering softly, Aurelia's face scrunched beneath Logan's attentions - not from horror, no, but to keep the tears that were threatening to erupt reigned in. It was to no avail, though, and one after an other broke over the line of her lids. For once she didn't worry that maybe her makeup was running or the boy opposite would think she was silly. Besides, she wouldn't have been able to keep this back for all the gold in Gringot's. It had been too long coming, as the last time she'd seen him she's shed ten minutes' worth of tears then locked them all away. And now here they were, rushing to unleash what seemed like centuries of worry and remorse. She held tightly to Logan and gasped against the tears. A whisper escaped her lips, high and cracking. 'I know that,', she managed to say, softly and low so that it might be as understandable as possible. 'I know that now.'

Reaching up to meet his lips, Aurelia kissed Logan slowly, softly, taking time to reacquaint herself with the soft, pink flesh. This was no crazed, horny school girl kiss. Her lips cradled Logan's own, molding against them and moving slowly, pulling them in before releasing, only to meet again. Eyes shut tight, she drew away, savoring the taste of his lips and scent and flesh. It was, quite possibly, even better than she'd remembered it. Her lashes parted and she stared up at him, a smile cresting on her lips. Then a frown, slow in turning, one that formed a small burrow between her brows. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the strength of him and loving that now she could hold him closely once more. 'I'm sorry', she said softly. Her gaze moved to his chest and her cheeks heated. 'I never should have slapped you ...' she admitted sorrowfully. 'I never should have left - I should have listened.'

A sigh escaped her lips and she looked up at Logan once more, her eyes full of sadness and somehow still unsure. For her own sake, Aurelia hoped that this was Logan taking her back - not the opposite. After all, she was ready to beg if the need be, and play any slight of card she had. 'I don't know what to say to make you keep me - I don't deserve that much', she murmured. 'All I know is that I don't care if I look stupid or pathetic - I only want you back.' Her gaze met his once more, halfway pleading, halfway fearful. It was all she could do to stay standing, to look at him squarely and not shrivel from the fear that he wouldn't take her back; that she may not ever have him again.