9 April, 2008 (2:33am) - 11 June, 2008 (11:49pm)
Link.
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Aife sat at her desk, trying desperately to tie up the end of a five-foot long term paper on the Tanzanian Dundu. She flipped through the encyclopedia she'd acquired from the library and sighed. An other hour of this and she would internally combust. She scribbled the conclusion at the base of the essay, and felt relieved as she placed the last period. "There..." she muttered, and she set down her quill to stretch.
Lune had thought her crazy as she woke at four that morning to finish the text. But she worked best in the wee hours. Dorian sat curled in her lap, deceivingly adorable in his slumber. Aife rolled the parchment, placing the leaflet carefully into it's protective sleeve. She closed the books, separating them into piles according to which she owned and which she'd checked out in the library.
The red tones of the fading sun stretched through the iron squared panes of glass that barred the wind outside from entering the room's widow. Was it all ready evening? Aife looked curiously through the window, her eyes adjusting to the ill lighting, so different from the piercing rays of the afternoon. She stood, unseating a grumpy Dorian in the process. He screeched and, scowling at her, made for the human-free zone beneath her bed. "Brat..." Aife muttered hotly. She looked around for her timepiece, and lifted it from the knob on her wardrobe. The little hand balanced squarely between the four and the five, while the longer hand stretched stifly over the six. Aife let out a low whistle. She'd spent half the day all ready.
Lune had popped in and out periodically, but she'd been missing for at least a couple hours. She'd muttered the familiar excuse for privacy, and Aife had only offered a snort. Right, because they studied... Still in her pajamas, Aife began to shuffle through her wardrobe. She wasn't about to waste the rest of her day, even if the only thing she did was loiter in the halls. Pulling out a brown, corduroy skirt and a cream cotton tank, Aife made her way for the door, lifting her shower bag as she went. The bathrooms were empty, and she showered quickly, lending a quick drying charm to her hair as she dressed. Her fiery curls bounced as she entered her room, swapping her shower bag for her rucksack and a damson sweater.
Aife lopped through the Rouerie passageway, down the dormitory steps and through the opening that took her to the common ground between the three houses. She looked around for a moment, wondering what she should do. Surprising Rue and Lune would have been fun, if she wasn't so nice. Her thoughts turned to the towers, but they were full these days, now that everyone was back from break. Then she remembered the magical room found on the upper floor, the one in which she and Caelen had settled their differences.
Her mind decided, Aife's feet turned west, and she made for the stair case that would take her two floors above. It had been a while since she'd been in that area of the palace, but her feet still found the path to the sill that sat opposite the blank stone wall. Aife stood, facing the expanse, half expecting the curious door to appear before her. The surface remained unchanged, solid and cold before her eyes. She sighed, and her mind worked to think of why it showed up before. Her feet moved, slowly pacing themselves before the door. She thought about the room on the other side, the array of couches, her preference standing wide and comfortable before a window to the Beauxbatons grounds.
One more turn brought Aife's steps to a halt. The steepled rusty door stood sturdy and rich against the stone that encased it. She stepped closer, eyes wide. It was difficult to figure out if the door was a menace or an aid. Not about to let the opportunity pass, she reached out one slender, pale hand to grasp hold of the brass latch bolt. Her thumb tested the latch and, obviously not as rusty as its hinges, it gave easily, swinging open to reveal the room she remembered so well. The array of overstuffed couches and chairs stood much the same as when she'd last left it.
The room was well lit enough for her to see everything around her, accented with the reflective hues of the dying sun. Gold, orange, and red swept the surfaces, and brought colour to her fair skin. Aife made her way to stand before the familiar window, her gaze absorbing the glorious grounds. Spring had launched herself upon them, bringing the thick greens and palette of colours. The fading light did little to stunt the plentiful growth that kept the grounds keeper so busy. Aife stepped back, seating herself on the wide couch beside her, without removing the grounds from her view. The last time she'd looked through the glass panes, a sheet of belligerent rain had obscured the view, offering instead a clear glass to host her reflection.
Aife leaned into the massive cushions of the couch, her arms wrapping tight around her as she watched the sun's descent. Violet, than blackened navy came slowly from the east, chasing their lighter, febrile counterparts across the heavens. It was sad, really. Every night, the blues chased out the reds. And every morn, the reds conquered, claiming their right for twelve odd hours. Aife smiled, and her gaze watched the faded clash between the varied hues. She pulled her legs to her chest, squeezing them tight, as she watched the age old battle for control over the horizon.
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Caelen walked through the castle halls with his mind so far distant from his body that it was a wonder how his legs were still working and managing to not stumble over themselves from the pure confusion and lack of direction. Up and down steps he went and across the long hallways, down or up the numerous corridors that he's seen many times before. He had no recognition of any of it and had no clue where he was since he left or ran from the clock-tower after his little run in with Cassandra. His mind was still deciphering new meaning to the sort of epiphany he had and he was making himself accept them as a fact. He was trying to get use to what Cassandra made him realize.
Cassandra, the name sounded sour when he spoke it out loud to himself. Only testing it and it sounded different. It didn't hold the teasing and flirty tone it once held as that was now replaced by disappointment. Was that what the name sounded like? Pure disappointment and regret? was it regret? It was hard to tell currently but Caelen doubted it was regret. Well it partly was, some of his mind wished he'd never met simply for the fact that she just more or less betrayed him. Though the other part was happy that the two dated as the event that just occurred did open his eyes to what he hasn't been noticing. The apathetic soul finally lived, no longer being hurt by words or hard glances. It was a dream come true. No a goal come true, it's what his been working toward. Funny how it only took rejection from his ex-girlfriend to make it happen.
Though it probably happened long ago but he's just never noticed. The shred of humanity that he was holding on to so dearly had been like wool over his eyes preventing him from seeing clearly. Or thinking rationally as it seemed like, well rationally in regards to himself that was. He always thought with reason in regards to those around. He kept away for a reason, didn't get close to anyone for their health and benefit. He hid away in the shadows not letting anyone know what he was so they wouldn't have a chance to meet the monster that lied dormant within him. Able to awake and strike for a result of any stupid mistake that he might make at any given moment. So he did think rationally in regards to others but still that had been formed into a lie.
Through all of his precautions and acts of selflessness part of him still believed that there was a chance. A chance that he was like humans and could fit in and be accepted. He thought if he could keep people from finding out everything would be perfect and nice. Life would go smoothly and all he would have to do is prevent anyone from knowing, he would keep his friends as long as he watched out for them by being detached. That was his stupid mistake. It was the wool over his eyes. The need to be accepted and possibly cared about. Loved even. He still thought it was possible, another thing that the wool caused. It infected his brain with false hopes with it's soft comfort.
But now Caelen saw clearly. The rejection was inevitable. It didn't matter if he did his best to stay away from people he could potentially come to care about or love. They would find out eventually, by some other ways besides himself. Then they would turn on him. They wouldn't care that he was the one with the secret or that he was the one dealing with the guilt of lying. They wouldn't understand he was the one living in fear of that exact same reaction. They would only react on impulse and send him packing. Tell him to stay away. Threaten him. He understood this now. There was no point anymore, he would never be accepted and he would never fit in with anyone beside his own kind. That's just the way people were, the way life worked and now he saw that clearly.
Even though his mind was set in that stage of false hopes his emotions had already moved on. They made themselves invulnerable and indifferent. It's what he's been yearning to do since the day he was turned and it's happened but he didn't realize until now. He wondered exactly where down the line did the change take place? The ability to simply not care for anything done to you in a way of harm or comfort. Though he cared about others. How was it possible to care for others but not care the slightest for yourself. How ever it was possible it happened, he's finally reached the stage. There was no longer the need to be accepted, he never would be and he didn't care. He was fine on his own, he would have to deal with being on his own. He would need to start being content with it.
A door appeared suddenly and Caelen looked up from the ground quickly to look around him. He might have no clue where he was going but he was still able to see his surroundings and there was definitely not a door there before. Caelen narrowed his eyes as they searched the hall and he noticed where he was. Third floor corridor, which meant the door that appeared had been the door of requirements. Was he pacing? He spoke to himself out-loud without realizing he did so as he walked forward. Was he even requiring anything? He looked at the brown door in confusion as he tried to make sense of the numerous thoughts running through his mind. He did want a place to sit and think, was that what the door picked up on? It didn't truly matter either way, it appeared for him and he was going inside.
His hand went to the doorknob and he twisted slowly as if testing the door before opening it. The look inside instantly shocked him and he laughed to himself lightly. Last time the door appeared for him the same room was there along with someone he was wanting to avoid. Though the door appearing was great as they talked and resolved their problems but now it appeared again. And with the same person inside. Caelen smiled to himself and shook his head from side to side lightly as he walked in and stared at the head of fiery red hair that was staring intently at the window. It almost seemed like they were destined to always meet in this room. He didn't mind this time not really. He was happy to see her. It lifted his presence. He felt immediately happy as he walked in and closed the door behind him. He was alone with Aife again well this was about two good things that happened today.
Strangely all thoughts from earlier about his apathetic state soon disappeared as he walked forward slowly. His hands at his side fidgeting slightly. She made him nervous, which was quite a shock. Caelen Sage never got nervous. It was another thing he liked about her, how she had the power to make him act like a complete fool and didn't even realize it. Well he wouldn't tell her, that was something he would keep to himself. "Hey..." He spoke calmly but with a smile as he reached her. He took a deep breath for a moment inhaling her scent, he hasn't been alone with her in a while. Well no it was a week since they were in here, but that seemed like a long time. "Mind if I join you?" Caelen asked and raised an eyebrow hopefully as his eyes surveyed her face. Traveling to those pouty lips that he loved so much. "The door just showed up... I think it was a sign" He added with a light laugh and ran a hand through his hair quickly as he waited for her response.
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The distant creak of the heavy oak door behind her called Aife to reality. Her mind was away in far off lands, intent on the rainbow of colours that graced the horizon line. The close of the door caused her concentration to break, and her fiery head turned slowly to face the figure coming closer through the fading light. Caelen Sage moved quietly, effortlessly, across the stone floor, his hands anxious at his sides. Head cocked, Aife looked at him curiously, wondering if today had really just been a dream. The first and only time she'd made a visit to this very room, he'd been the one to find her, curled up on the same plump couch.
It was, hopefully, a good thing that the tension was thick only in such a different way from the former meeting. Then, she'd been rife with sorrow and distress. Now, her heart raced at his presence, only glad that he took his paces in her direction. His face was thoughtful and calm, a smile gracing his beautiful porcelain features. Caelen's greeting came smooth and enticing through the stillness of the hall, his thick tenor filling her ear drums and making her heady with glee. How happy she was that they'd settled their differences, and that she'd had only to endure her depressed response to his evading attitude for so short a time.
Aife smiled in welcome to Caelen, a soft hello falling from her lips in welcome. His inquiry was silly, but Aife nodded regardless, her slender hand patting the seat beside her. The door just showed up... I think it was a sign... he said teasingly. She laughed at his remark, the sound tinkling throughout the spacious room. "I've heard it only appears when you need something", she told him as he sat. "It took a bit to show up for me, but there it was..." Aife pulled her feet closer, then let them drop into Indian position, her hands resting in her lap
Aife looked across the Beauxbatons grounds, the light dipping into the darker shades of twilight. Not far from her friend, her whole being was aware of his presence- his stature, the slight movements as he adjusted himself in the overstuffed lounge, how he was so near, even near enough to touch, if she were bold enough to make such a move. Eyes slanting downward, her bright blue orbs glanced from her fidgety palms to Caelen's poised profile.
Aife felt her heart racing confoundedly, blood filling her cheeks to heat their pallid exterior into a rich pink. To her chagrin, she knew not what to say, any and all words halting at her lips. Yet again, she wished for the witty skill that so many of her friends possessed, and of course in which she lacked dearly. A thousand phrases filled her mind each one dismissed at first thought in fear of ridicule. Caelen had yet to be a friend full of teasing or even much humor, but that didn't mean Aife was willing to sacrifice herself to an illusion of stupidity.
The side she'd most witnessed in Caelen's presence was one of gravity and care. Not only once, but twice, he'd been slow and careful with his words, afraid to say something he didn't mean, or something that would frighten her. Aife's attraction had been immediate, inevitable in the presence of such a flawless being as Caelen. And then at the dance, his honesty and heed had been met with awe and understanding, and the deal was done. His avoidance of her those couple of weeks would have been unbearable if it had not been for her friends. And then their meeting, here, in this very room, where their hearts and friendship mended as painfully as if they'd been torn apart.
Aife raised her head, her eyes searching out his face shyly. Settling for a simple query, she slighted toward him, running a hand through her hair in nervousness as she formed her words. "Hmmm... what have you been up to?" she asked, her stomach falling at the idiotic sounding question. "Oi", she muttered, laughing. "Well, how have you been?" Her correction wasn't much better, but it didn't sound quite as cheesy.
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"I've heard it only appears when you need something"
Aife answered him with a light laugh and Caelen smiled back in response. He felt more relaxed now and slowly his hands seemed to stop their incessant twitchy movement and remained at his side as he wanted them too. It seemed like almost months as passed and a part of him hadn't realized how much Aife's company affected him until now. Along with the comfort that it brought there was also the nervousness and need to prove himself worthy. Worthy of what though was a question he had yet to answer for himself all the time his mind wandered to her.
He took a bold move forward deciding to make himself more comfortable as there was more than enough space on the couch. He moved slowly almost with caution as if any minute he was expecting her to ask him what exactly he thought he was doing. He was only going to sit of course and still that little act made him worry. It was a strange happy feeling that annoyed him beyond reasoning every time he acted this way. Though he couldn't quite help it, It was almost like having a crush for the first time. Which was extremely impossible in his mind. Caelen didn't get crushes, that was silly and completely opposite his character.
"It took a bit to show up for me, but there it was..."
Caelen listened to her words carefully as he sat and leaned back against the couch. His hands went from being on the armrest to across his chest and back to the armrest. He couldn't quite figure out what to do with them since what he wanted to do was touch her. But Aife seemed to be in her own world of nervousness as she fidgeted and crossed her legs in front of her. Her eyes drifted towards the window but his dark orbs stayed solely focused on her as he tried to figure out her thoughts. Aife must have felt him staring since her eyes quickly turned to his direction and a rose color tinted her face. It seemed to bring out the bright red fiery color of her hair even more and he continued his staring for a moment until she turned away again.
Caelen laughed than quietly to himself as the situation finally kicked in. They were both acting so childish and he would put a stop to it. Though he's never really openly flirted with the girl, well unless you count his strange behavior at the valentine's dance, he couldn't deny that he did like her. More so than he should probably and the only way to get over this nervous tick that kicked in whenever she was around was to be bold like normal Caelen. "Yea that's what it's suppose to do..." Caelen answered her after he had his thoughts in order. With a small escape of breath he tore his gaze away from her features to look outside of the window. "But I wasn't needing anything..." Caelen spoke with a small shrug and leaned forward. He rested his forearms on his legs as his fingers intertwined themselves. "Unless it thought I was in need of your company" He continued with a charming smile and looked her way quickly.
"I don't mind it, this is the highlight of my day actually" Caelen spoke softly and almost bit his tongue in order to keep from sprouting of shameless flirting towards her. He wanted her to like him, not think he was just another arrogant Sournois. He finished off leaving what was unsaid hanging between them in the silence. There wasn't any indication that he was going to elaborate with his words, he was only being honest. Aife seemed to finally snap out of her shy mute phase as she spoke. "Hmmm... what have you been up to?" She asked running a hand through her hair than her face quickly fell. As if she was disappointed at her choice of her words. He almost felt like laughing for a moment but it occurred to him he wouldn't know how to start off talking either.
"Well, how have you been?" Aife spoke again after a small laugh and Caelen offered her a smile if she was in need of one to return her confidence. "Nothing really..." He answered with a sigh and bit on the inside of lip so hard that he actually caused it to bleed. These small conversations were annoying to him and he wanted them to move ahead now instead of the awkward meetings. Caelen narrowed his brows slightly and leaned back against the couch suddenly. His behavior probably seemed rather twitchy to her but he couldn't really be subtle at the moment. With a sigh he decided to just get the question that's been plaguing his thoughts out of his head.
"Are you..." He began with a breath of frustration as his dark eyes traveled over her confused expression quickly and the last word of his sentence seem to refuse to come out. "I mean, Aife..., are you dating anyone?" He asked raising an eyebrow almost awkwardly as he ran the question through his head quickly. It was extremely important to him to know though there wasn't much he could do about it. She did admit to being interested in him but Caelen decided for her safety they couldn't really take a chance at dating. He didn't want to lose control and hurt her, he's already lost his control once the first time they met and he didn't want all of their other dates to end that way. With her alone and him running from the bloodlust.
"Not that... it's any of my business..." He added and bit his lip again. It was his business, he didn't really want her dating anyone not when he wanted to be with her. "Ugh..." Caelen spoke with a groan and ran a hand through his hair quickly out of frustration. How was he suppose to simply act like it was ok for her to when he hated it so much. Well it was his baggage, he couldn't ask her to just not like everyone else and be miserable simply because he was afraid for her. "It's good if you are... I'm happy... for you" He spoke slowly and ran his tongue over his fangs quickly as a nervous habit. The words almost pained him to speak and they were of course a big lie. "Well I mean..." He continued and tried to keep his twitching arm at his side. "I'm not stalking you or anything" He spoke quickly as if that would make everything better when it did nothing but make him look more insane. "Are you?" He asked again with a raised eyebrow and muddled mind that was hoping her answer was no.
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Caelen's words still wrung in Aife's ears as she sat waiting patiently for him to respond to her inquiry. It was too hard to tell if he was joking or not. And, as much as she might hate to admit it, she dearly hoped he wasn't. He offered her a smile that weakened her knees, and she was very glad she was sitting. Not to mention that she was glad she was sitting right next to him. And forget that she was even alone with him. That was how she liked him best. Around others, he was more reserved, more serious. Not that he wasn't the same at times like these. But even more so.
Nothing really... he said, a sigh straggling after his words. Aife's bright blue orbs stayed glued to his face, and cast a puzzled look his way as his features fell. It still surprised her, how quickly his moods could change. She watched as Caelen furrowed his brow, his expression becoming dark and distant as his mind flooded with thought. His sudden recline against the couch back made her start, and her frightened eyes stared as she waited for him to speak, to move, to do anything to explain why he was acting in such a way. She wanted to reach out to him, to clasp his hand in hers, to comfort him. A thousand possibilities raced through Aife's mind, each worse than the former, till worry clouded her features.
Are you... Caelen's words came slowly, cautiously. Aife wondered what she could have to do with how he was feeling. Her mind turned to his state, his vampirism, and her brows furrowed even closer together. Hadn't she made it clear to him that she didn't care what he was? I mean, Aife... he muttered slowly, his features unsure and hesitant. Are you dating anyone?
Aife's features immediately gave way to an expression of shock. That question, of all things, was the last one she'd expected. Was she dating anyone? She could feel her jaw drop slightly, her face lax in her current condition. Previously, her mind had been coming up with numerous ways that he could have been in trouble, hurt, merlin only knew what. Maybe a massive coven of vampires was coming to kill him, or what if he was dying from not enough blood intake? What if... what if something had happened to someone he knew? Or what if he was getting kicked out?
But no, he wanted to know if she was dating anyone. That was all. If she was dating. Is he crazy? she thought, her mind muddled from the surprise. There must be something else... she thought, her mind excusing his question. Something more intense, maybe someone he wanted her to stay away from, and they were dangerous? Of course that's it, it has to be! she exclaimed inwardly. Why else would he fidget so? Aife closed her mouth, her teeth meeting as she rose her jaw from it's surprised state.
Not that it's any of my business... he continued slowly. Aife's eyes rolled inwardly. Of course it was his business. Why else had she made it a point to not hunker down with anyone else? To not be tied, not be free to make her own decision if he became a choice? Caelen's groan rose her from her reverie, and Aife looked up at him, her eyes focusing. She waited patiently, wondering why he was taking so damn long. Practically itching with anticipation, whether what she was awaiting was good or bad, she lowered her legs and crossed her ankles, her body supporting itself with her shoulders as her hands grasped at the thick edge of the couch.
It's good if you are he said quietly. I'm happy... for you Aife stared an other moment, watching his tongue as it slipped slightly from between his lips. She realized suddenly that this really was the true subject of his query. As the realization hit her, that he was actually nervous about this, Aife's jaw dropped again. Blood flooded her cheeks, heating her skin to a deep pink that spread over her neck and to the rest of her body. She felt like she was going to hurl, to put it realistically. The butterflies in her stomach danced happily, and she froze, hands clutching the lounge's edge with a death grip, and her eyes wide as marbles. A thought crossed her mind, which she immediately realized was silly and impractical on her part, that he might actually ask her out. In some form, whether it be on a date, officially, or any of those other childish notions.
With a start, she realized that all those things really did seem silly. Even more now than ever. She didn't want a schoolyard romance. Not even a date. Sure, it would be nice to spend time with Caelen- it was always nice to spend time with him, regardless of mood. But she felt like she wanted something more. Something less hollow; something with substance. The thoughts raced through her mind as she sat next to him, still as sarsen, hardly breathing at all. Well, I mean... Not a moment had passed, but Caelen's voice came from distant lands, calling her back to the present. Her eyes focussed, registering the expression on his face. I'm not stalking you or anything he told her quickly. Aife nodded slowly, unsure of the capabilities of her voice. Are you? he asked, his brows raised as he prodded for an answer.
Aife shook her head slowly, the fiery, curly tendrils that escaped from behind her ears falling into her face. She fought to filter what he was asking, to understand it. Was he asking for his own benefit? Her mind was muddled, and she could barely sort her thoughts. She lifted her head, her eyes finding his shortly, then leaned back against the couch, her hands holding their selves in her lap. No, Caelen. I'm not dating anyone. Aife finally got the words out in one quick puff. How long had she been holding her breath? Her head pounded as blood rushed in, giving it that swollen heady feeling. She was hot where she sat, her palms sweaty, and she unzipped her heavy sweater. Her fingers returned the stray tendrils to behind her ears, and she looked up at Caelen again. Are you? she asked him. Somehow she doubted it, but she knew he was popular with the girls at school. And she didn't blame them. But sometimes she wished she had the right to tell them to back off.
Why... Aife muttered, the word slowly died on her lips. She felt as if she had no room to ask why he was wondering such things about her. Or maybe she was only nervous that the reasons might not be what she was hoping. Why do you want to know? she asked timidly. Did she really want to know? She wasn't sure that, if it was for any reason other than that he wanted to, in some way, be with her, she could take it. Why not sail through, in this steady calm that existed between them, so much better than the worse way it could go. Was it worth it to find out? Would it be worth potential pain to know? Would it be more worth what they all ready had? With a sigh, Aife offered a short, hesitant smile and waited for Caelen to speak.
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Caelen did feel nervous while waiting for her answer as his hands went back to their continuous movement that resembled twitching. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he looked towards the window once again. Not staring out of it but at it as if expecting the scenery to change before them. The room was suppose to provide what they needed and right now what he needed was to get far away and rewind time. He of course felt very foolish at the question, he probably sounded like some obsesses jealous stalker and he hated himself for it. The look Aife was currently sending his way did nothing to ease his mind since she had a look of disbelief upon her face.
Did that mean yes she was? Caelen gritted his teeth slightly at the tug of pain that he felt through his none beating heart as the reality of the situation finally set home. Once again the monster that he's become has caused him a chance of something that might actually be good. "of course" Caelen muttered to himself and ran his tongue along the sharp fangs quickly almost as a reminder that this was really happening. Turns out that it was and he now felt worse than before as he seemed once again to be putting her in an awkward situation. With another slow breath Caelen turned his head to tell her to dismiss his question but he caught her gaze. Aife seemed more confused than ever as she shook her head no and her fiery red curls fell in front of her face.
No, Caelen. I'm not dating anyone Aife answered him quickly and with a deep breath. The words almost sounded hoarse as if she just remembered that she needed to breathe. The relief that he felt was quickly replaced by guilt as he realized that didn't make things any easier. He still couldn't be with her so he should be able to hope she'd find someone. But he couldn't, Caelen was never able to actually let go of something he wanted so easily. His eyes stayed on her as Aife unzipped her sweater and sat nervously. He could heart the pounding of her heart along with blood rushing through her. Why was he putting her through this?
Are you? The question snapped him out of his reverie and his eyes widened for a second as he looked at her. He didn't think Aife would actually ask that since he just asked her the same thing. After all why would he ask her if he was with someone, that almost seemed pointless. "No, No I'm not" Caelen answered her quickly and moved forward on the couch. His eyes closed for a moment as the guilt started to eat at him more and he actually regretted ever speaking. Why do you want to know? Aife spoke quietly and his eyes opened to focus on her once again. His mouth opened to answer her but closed just as quickly as no words came to mind.
Caelen released another breath as he decided to try and be as honest as he was able with her. Caelen scooted closer to her and reached forward to touch her hand as he's been itching to do since he first saw her into the room. A small breath escaped his lips as his thumb ran over the smooth skin of her hand. "Aife..." He spoke with a sigh and took her hand in his as he moved closer. "I'm sorry" He spoke quietly and gave her a short smile as he held her hand in the palm of his. The heat coming from them was actually very comforting and different from his cold ones as his fingers continued to trace a path around her fingers. "Just for..." He stopped and looked up at her for a moment as the strange trance that he was in finally disappeared.
He released another breath as his eyes studied her face and he tried to form his thoughts to explain it quick and simple. "I feel like every time we're alone I ruin the comfort..." Caelen spoke with a light laugh at his honest statement. His eyes looked down towards their now intertwined hands as he continued the strange patterns. He was actually feeling more relaxed now that he was actually touching her instead of twitching his hands to keep from doing so. Caelen has always and would probably always be a very physical person, Aife would realize that sooner or later and if it bothered her than of course he would try to stop.
"I wanted to know because..." Caelen began and ran his tongue along his bottom lip quickly as he tried to return to the previous topic. "It would bother me if you were..." He decided to say with a sigh deciding that was the best answer he could give. "If it isn't obvious... I do want you" Caelen spoke quickly with a slight tilt of his head. "I mean to be with you..." He added soon after once his words replayed in his head and they sounded strange. "But... with what happened at the dance" He continued and looked down with a deep breath. "I told you that it's hard sometimes to be in control... I don't want to hurt you" Caelen finished as his dark orbs returned to hers. "I don't want to risk it" he sighed and bit the inside of his lip. That was the best answer he could give her since it was what he felt in a nutshell, now he would just have to hope she understood and they would have to deal with not being together.
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Aife felt as if time expanded as she waited for Caelen to speak. Each breath, each subtle move took light years to enact. She couldn't believe they were having this conversation. Her breath held firm as she tried to tell herself to not get her hopes up, to not expect more than was possible. But to late it was, for her heart, all ready revved for the race, was speeding at a rate so dangerously alarming that Aife was finding it difficult to pay attention to the moment. Calm... calm... she told herself, and counted to ten over and over in her mind, forcing herself to think each number slowly.
No... Caelen muttered finally. No, I'm not... Aife felt relief surge through her, only to come to an other dam. Just because he was free to do as he liked, didn't mean she was a priority in any way. The dam held back the major feeling of relief, but trickles fell over, leaving her to hope for something so drastically unrealistic it hurt. Caelen's uneasy shifting did nothing at all to stave her pain, to keep away the muddled thoughts that tried desperately to cram into her brain harder than a last minute study session before OWLS. His gaze roamed, sometimes falling on her, at other times drawing away to inspect some other feature of the magical room.
Aife looked down at her palms, her fingers busy inspecting the little cracks in her hands where the flesh met. If Caelen didn't spit out whatever he was trying to say soon, she was going to have a break down. Whether it be from the suspense, or fustration, or from fear of the unknown, she had yet to find out. She only knew that the time between this moment, and what he said next, what he said moments from now, even what he said in an other hour, could completely change how they were with each other. It made her feel vulnerable, and unsure; like she would rather time stand still so they could sit in peace, content with the mood of the moment.
Aife looked up when she heard Caelen shift on the couch, and felt him move nearer to her. His face was hesitant, but determined. An icy hand covered hers, and she was even now surprised by how comforting the feeling of his skin on hers was. They hadn't really touched since the Valentines Day Dance, when he'd held her hands in his just so. She remembered the moment vividly- the time it took for her to realize the chill of his palm, and how pale the slender digits were. His fingers ran over her skin, sending sparks of electricity through her as she watched the roving motions trace the lines she'd become intent upon only moments earlier. How could something that felt so right, seem so utterly impossible?
Aife breathed deeply as she waited for Caelen's words, her glistening blue orbs locked on his porcelain features. Nervousness clouded her mind, overwhelming the clash of thoughts that still fought for purchase. The butterflies that called her stomach home awoke, giving her the jittery fidget she despised most. Aife... sighed Caelen as he narrowed the distance between them. I'm sorry... Just for... The brief smile he offered made Aife tense; it seemed like he was breaking up with her, despite all the signs that sprouted up, proclaiming progress for their relationship, whatever it was. His manners did nothing to calm the frantic beating of her heart, nor the steady draws of breath her lungs worked so hard for. Only his long, gentle fingers kept her grounded, the constant graze of skin against her own keeping her before the break of her emotions.
Caelen's gaze rested again on hers, his own cerulean eyes searching her features. I feel like every time we're alone I ruin the comfort he said loftily, a laugh escaping from his lips as they released the words. Aife glared at him, sullen from the time all ready spent waiting for him to clear the air. She didn't know how much more she could take before she burst. As Caelen's gaze held hers, his fingers continued their steady exploration of the milky skin along her own, warmth chasing the icy trail left behind.
Aife watched as Caelen's thoughtful expression labored over what to say next, her own eyes intent on his as she waited impatiently. I wanted to know because... he began, his tone vacillant. His tongue retraced the path along his lip in thought, and Aife leaned closer, urging him silently not to pause again. It wouldn't bother me if you were he noted. The comment bothered her- would he really not care? She knew for a fact that it would bother her- even seeing girls in the school tilt their lock-heavy heads just so to laugh at something he said made her heat with jealousy. At his sigh, she refocused on him, her brows furrowing as she urged her mind to concentrate on his words. If it isn't obvious... I do want you he said quickly, as if he was dying to spit the words out. Aife's eyes widened as her mind slowly comprehended what he said. He wants me... she thought gleefully. He wants me? she thought again, questioning. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I mean, to be with you... Caelen muttered, correcting his former statement. Aife felt the butterflies in her belly renew their dance, sending her stomach a whirl. This can't be true... she thought as she tried to steady herself on the seat. It couldn't be happening. Not really. She thought back to the moment she entered the room. This was definitely not what she could ever have expected for her evening. But once she thought about it, there was nothing more that she could want to happen in her day. And anything more would feel like asking for much else.
But... he said quickly, interrupting her hopeful train of thought. The solitary word caused a shift in her mood, and she studied his face as his gaze lowered. With what happened at the dance... he continued thoughtfully, his gaze steering clear of her own. I told you that it's hard sometimes to be in control... Aife stared at him, her eyes narrowing as he began the steady decline of his let down. Not now... she urged silently. She was going to be vehement if he turned course now. I don't want to hurt you he declared, his eyes shifting to hers. I don't want to risk it...
Anger welled in Aife's gut as she listened to Caelen speak. She couldn't believe the twists and turns through which he was taking her- it wasn't fair. She looked down, studying her hands clasped in his as she thought, considering any answer she could give to his comments. It was quite convenient, really. He almost gave her the choice. The choice being, to comply with what he was speaking, or to read between the lines and refuse to let him back down so easily. She thought about the dance, about how he left her. And their last meeting in this room. How he approached her. And then today, this evening. How even now, he was the one giving the options. How he was the one to initiate the tone of their conversation. And how she sat by, allowing him listlessly to take the reins.
It occurred to Aife that she was never the one to make the decisions, to call the shots, to set the bar. And she was damn right tired of it. Caelen thought he knew what was good for her. He thought he knew how to protect her. But if he were to leave her... He is in too deep were the words her mind issued forth. If he left now, if all came to nil, where would she be? Aife looked at him, his sweet, porcelain face, framed by angelically golden shorn locks, rife with determination and sadness.
Aife felt the anger pooling in her chest, rising fast as the pike of heat on a Sahara summer day. She gripped his hands in hers, her own soft skin hard against his frozen sheet. Her eyes were a storm of dark blue when she looked up, glazed over in salty wetness as she glared at him. Do not act like that... she said icily. Do not act like you don't have the same feelings I do she muttered, her voice struggling to keep control over the rush of feelings threatening to break over the dam. I know that this might be walking out on a limb... she said clearly, taking a deep breath. Almost backing down, she tensed, and urged herself to keep the line thought. I do have feelings for you, Caelen. And if you think for one moment, that at least I could be free of the hold you have for me, you are dreadfully and terribly wrong. Aife held his gaze, her lips taught as she gripped his hands in emphasis of her words.
I do not think you understand what you mean to me. Really, I don't... she muttered in disbelief. Even after the dance... I barely knew you, I know- but still... Aife shook her head miserably. It was hard for her to follow any train of thought as she fought to understand the situation. She returned her gaze to Caelen, her expression irritated and confused. All I know she said quietly, is I want to be the one with the decision now... I want to be the one to stay the course... Caelen stared at her, his hands clasped in hers as she sat close to him, her body leaning closer as she spoke. She withdrew one hand from his, and brought it to his cold face. The skin was pallid in hue, and she traced the lines that stretched across it, their valleys soft shades of pink. Why can't you just accept it she queried as she leaned closer, taking in the delicate curves of his lashes, and the myriad of flecks that graced his sapphire irises. I am not going anywhere...
Moist, tender lips met Aife's own as she claimed them, moving softly against them as her own temperature clashed with Caelen's. They were soft and pliable, and the icy flesh that molded against her own felt fresh and new. Her one free hand gripped Caelen's urging him to stay, to claim the moment, to break down the walls he'd erected against her. He sat still as she kissed him, and his shocked indifference made her groan against his lips. She cupped one side of his face in hers, feeling the hard lines of his jaw beneath the soft, frigid skin and sunk her small white teeth into his bottom lip. He sat still, frozen, the only evidence of life in him was the tensing of his being as her central incisors bit down. Just breathe Aife told herself silently as the nervous butterflies began to dance, spreading their turbulent tremor throughout her body.
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The room seemed suddenly smaller as tension started to creep up to him and around him. This was not what he wanted at all. For once he would have liked a normal, well non-awkward, conversation with Aife. That seemed impossible for the pair as every meeting just the two of them has shared so far as been filled with nervousness and underlying tension that seemed to never want to leave. Was that how it was always going to be? Caelen gave a small breath as he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that the answer was yes. It wasn’t Aife’s fault. Not in the least, it was him and all his paranoia and fears. Caelen knew he was much too different to ever be truly comfortable with her. There were too many things preventing him from doing so, his bloodlust being one of the main things. He didn’t trust himself enough yet.
It was actually a wonder whether or not he ever will, even when he has gotten as old as his sire or some of the other vampires. The answer that he always came to for that question was no. He saw first hand how easy the elder vampire lost control and Caelen in his current cynical state only saw the negatives ahead for the rest of his eternity. So he would have to forever sacrifice the things he wanted in order to keep everyone but himself happy. This curse brought upon him has forever ruined any chances he ever has of being selfish. He couldn’t be, not that he ever truly was but now the option was out of the question. People’s life were at stake if her ever chose to only care about himself and Caelen had too much of a strong conscience so ever give in to the selfish desires. One of them was of course being with Aife.
His eyes were cast downwards at her small hand in his as his mind wondered. The pattern he was tracing long gone as he took the repetitive process of stroking around her wrist with his thumb. He hardly noticed his actions but every time his eyes caught sight of the vein beneath her skin he was reminded why again just being in the same room with her was a bad idea. Caelen looked up with a small sigh to meet her gaze once more and held it for a moment before her expression changed completely. It went from shock to disappointment and anger quicker than he could think was possible and Caelen could only stare back as he tried to figure out her thoughts.
Her change in expression didn’t surprise him too badly as he already predicted the conversation would probably end on a sour note. He seemed to only be tugging her along only to let go at the most crucial point. It was annoying even to him so he couldn’t begin to imagine what Aife must have felt like. Being on the receiving end of his turmoil that couldn’t even be put into the correct words must be extremely frustrating. Still the look of anger on her face did not suit her, it was the first time he’s seen such a dark expression on her somewhat innocent features and it looked very out of place. Her blue eyes dark with anger and Caelen could see the moisture in them as she looked up at him again.
He felt ten times worse now. He had driven her so angry that she was to the point of crying? What the hell was wrong with him? It seemed the monster that he was came out even when he tried his hardest to steer away from him. It couldn’t be helped any longer. Caelen gave a small breath of frustration as he looked down to where she was gripping his hand. He actually hadn’t even notice the change in their position as he was no longer stroking her wrist and she was holding on tightly to his own. Her glare did nothing to ease the guilt that he was feeling and though he couldn’t think of anything to say but sorry he felt as if he needed to. Caelen opened his mouth to give his very old apology but Aife interjected before he could have a chance to speak.
Do not act like that... Her words came out harsh and in an icy tone Caelen has never heard before. It seemed so unreal to him that Aife, who seemed so fragile, was actually angry with him and being harsh. Honestly he didn’t think it was possible, Caelen still remembered clearly when he was trying to provoke that same reaction out of her but nothing he did worked. Even when he threw petty insults her way he ended up caving in before she was able to get angry. Do not act like you don't have the same feelings I do Aife muttered barely comprehensible to human ears. He only continued too look at her as she spoke, he was at loss for words at watching the gentle girl suddenly become so bold and his mind was preventing him from thinking up anything intelligent.
I know that this might be walking out on a limb… I do have feelings for you, Caelen. And if you think for one moment, that at least I could be free of the hold you have for me, you are dreadfully and terribly wrong. Caelen’s eyes darted down to her hand which was gripping hers quickly as she spoke. He really didn’t expect to hear such things from Aife, she seemed too much like the shy type to actually confess such a thing. Again his lips parted to speak but no sound could be heard and he closed them quickly. The emotions running through him were making it dreadfully hard to even think coherently let alone form a sentence. The only real emotion that he could identify was the one that told him he wasn’t worthy. Not Worthy of being liked so much by Aife, though she was right in saying he did share the same feelings but he felt like they shouldn’t be returned with such intensity.
Her blue gaze held his own and her glare disappeared to be replaced with something he couldn’t identify. It puzzled him and it became all he could think about. That and the hold she currently had on his hand as if she wanted to really get her point across. I do not think you understand what you mean to me. Really, I don't… Even after the dance... I barely knew you, I know- but still... Aife was no longer making sense and Caelen didn’t try to make sense of the words. He didn’t want to know what was not being said. His conscience wouldn’t be able to handle it and the ever present feeling or worthlessness would reject it. She shook her head and Caelen decided it must have been out of frustration. This scene was almost a comical one, usually he was the one stuttering to form words into something she would be able to comprehend. This was a new side to Aife that he would have never thought existed and it was yet to be decided if he was glad that it was brought out or not.
All I know is I want to be the one with the decision now... I want to be the one to stay the course... Her words finally explained the anger and aggravation that crossed her face earlier and he almost nodded dumbly in response. It made sense that she would get angry if she truly felt that she had no control in their relationship, whatever that was. Though her words sunk in and Caelen decided she was right in getting angry at him, he still knew that she would continue to get angry. His mind was already very made up about their future and Aife even though she didn’t like it really didn’t have a say in the matter. He was choosing to not be with her for her own benefit and she still didn’t seem able to understand that. This would be the cause of many more fights to come, he was sure of it.
Aife moved closer to him to his dismay and before he could react she was pulling her hand away from his. His eyes darted down quickly at the lack of contact but she was already moving to touch his face. Her touch was warm and a great difference to his own cold skin but the feeling it provided was one that it couldn’t really be explained. As her fingers traced the lines of his features Caelen gave a small sigh and looked up to meet her eyes once more. He felt like he should have said something but something in her gaze told him that she wasn’t quite done. Caelen realized he was right of course when Aife moved closer to him still. There was barely any distance between them on the couch as she leaned forward.
Why can't you just accept it, I am not going anywhere... Then she was kissing him. To say that was the last thing in the world he was expecting would be a great understatement. Caelen sat frozen in spot with his eyes wide at the feeling of her warm lips against his own. His body had tensed he was sure but everything else seemed too far away as he could only concentrate on the tender lips that were moving against his own. The usual need to touch disappeared as realization sunk in that Aife really was kissing him. He was brought back from his frozen state when he felt her teeth sink into his bottom lip. It didn’t hurt but it was enough to shock him back into his body and cause him to finally react.
The surprise wore off as his own selfish desire for her quickly resurfaced and overpowered the rational part of his brain. It seemed in the time he was having his inward struggle with himself Aife had started to pull away slowly. That seemed to be what finally got his brain working as he leaned forward instantly. His hand that was once holding her own came up suddenly to rest at the small of her back and push her forward towards him again. It was gentle enough to still allow her to pull away but aggressive enough so Aife wouldn’t think that he was rejecting her. That was the last thing he wanted at the moment. Frenzy ran throughout his mind as everything he ever knew or thought about disappeared except for the feeling of her soft lips.
The feeling wasn’t enough as he kissed her back and there was only the urgency for more. Caelen brought his other hand up to place at her neck as he pulled Aife closer to him to feel more of her against him. Her lips parted against his own giving him access to explore her mouth and the sweetest ecstasy he had ever tasted. It didn’t seem to be enough and he pulled closer still, wanting more of the sweet drug that’s he had been craving for so long. His hand tightened her back slightly until she was fully pressed against him and he couldn’t be any closer to her. It seemed that he could stay and kiss her like this forever and he would have loved too but the reality quickly sunk in as he felt a small push at his chest.
Instantly Caelen pulled away as that was what he has been expecting to happen for a long time. To be pushed away from her and rejected, though her touch was gentle he moved quickly as if being burned. He did not want to seem as if he was forcing her into anything. His hands continued to rest against her back and neck as he looked at her and notice the reason for breaking the kiss. Breathing. Aife needed to breathe when he had no need for it, he only did it out of habit. Her on the other hand couldn’t be out of breath for too long. Caelen looked down quickly as that fact urged forward the part of his brain that acted and thought rationally. That was exactly why he has been trying so hard to not act on any of his desires. His eyes searched her face quickly before looking down as he felt ashamed of his actions. Why exactly did she like him when he almost suffocated her to death with a kiss.
Caelen looked up at her quickly as the needed to apologize came forward, he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as they were overtaken by something else. The need to get his point across. Now he was the one that felt angry. Angry because she placed herself in such danger and refused to go anywhere. She even told him so and it frustrated him that she was so stubborn. ”I…” Caelen began but nothing came after. He has said everything possible that he could think of, there was no other way to tell her that he was dangerous. He has used up all of his descriptions already. It seemed the only left for him to do was prove it to her. Show her first hand how dangerous he was.
Caelen moved forward quickly capturing her lips almost forcefully as he pulled Aife close to him again. His grip was tighter, more aggressive, as he held her. The kiss which was previously filled with need was now fueled by frustration at himself and at her. His touch on her neck moved around to cup her face gently and tilt it to the side then his lips were moving. Away from her lips and down to her throat slowly, his hold on her was firm so she wouldn’t be able to budge or pull back no matter how she tried. His lips moved towards her neck now and everything flowed smoothly together. His shifting of her head to the side so that her neck was bare. Caelen tried to not concentrate on the vein that was so visible as he decided he had to get this done and out of the way.
The only way Aife would be able to listen was to scare her and he would do just that. Despite all of his good judgment he continued the small kisses to stop along her throat again. Then his fangs lengthened and his lips parted so that the sharp incisors ran along her soft and very warm flesh. His grip on her back tightened, determined to keep her in place but not enough to hurt her. Caelen was most likely sure that this was very extreme but he needed to prove his point to her. He wasn’t going to bite her, of course not but he needed her to see that he could slip and do so any moment he was in a weakened state.
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The icy tenderness of Caelen's lips plumped against her own as Aife bit down, her little white teeth gnawing lightly against the smoothness. Caelen, still as stone, seemed to take forever to wake from his shock, and it seemed a taste of his own medicine was what he'd needed. He jumped slightly in her grasp as his nerves registered the new pressure against his lips. The new stillness made Aife pause, and she wondered if maybe she'd gone too far. Regretfully, she calmed her lips, slowing their movement against his. Unsure of what to do, she began to pull away slowly, releasing his rosy lips sadly.
As soon as Aife pulled away, succeeding shortly in parting the grip of her lips on his, she felt Caelen lean into her, his lips crashing with her with renewed gusto. The force with which his moved against her own shocked her, and she felt her body release it's newfound control as she relaxed against his own. With a panic, she noticed the absence of his hand in hers, only to feel with a sigh of relief it's presence on her back, pulling her closer into Caelen's embrace.
Aife couldn't believe what was happening. She came to Beauxbatons alone, quiet and shy, scared to death of even the idea of talking to people. And her she was, instigating such fiery passion within someone she felt so strongly for. Caelen's lips fought with hers, the soft skin rubbed together, moist and hot despite the cooler temperature of Caelen's. Hardly thinking, Aife barely noticed the hand he brought to cradle her neck, and she relaxed even more into the comfort of his body. Her own free hand now rested against his chest, now and then searching for purchase to support her so she wasn't clear against him like a hussy. The tapered fingers gripped his shirt, holding herself up against him, and her other hand stroked the soft icy skin of his cheek, so sure that if she stopped in her ministrations, he would disappear, she would awake, the whole moment would come to a bitter, heart wrenching stop.
Eager to seize the moment, Aife parted her lips against Caelen's, and she inhaled his cold breath, so heady and sweet. Their tongues clashed together, searching, yielding, and clashing again. In a daze, Aife rushed to gather all sense of feeling that she could. Her own tongue locked with his, and traced the peaks of his fine teeth, edging along the molars, over the canines, and back again. He was so tempting... so utterly intoxicating, she had no idea how she'd ever stop feeling him, kissing him, holding on to him.
Caelen seemed to respond to her vigorously, his throat tight as he moved against her, his hands gripping her as he held her against him. Dizzy and lost in his body's embrace, Aife could feel the blood pooling in her head as she ploughed forward, her lips unrelenting on Caelen's. She had to stop sometime- she couldn't breathe. Each breath was a moment away from his delicious mouth, and that was far too long for her. His grip on her waist did her in- too much pressure, though not nearly enough, of her chest against his, and she was out of air. She became dizzy and unsteady in her seat, and regrettably she pressed against him with her hand. Caelen seemed to note the exact moment her hand applied it's pressure. He moved away quickly, as much as he could against the plush back of the couch.
Aife's chest swelled as she inhaled the air around her, trying desperately not to gasp to hard. She was all ready dizzy enough without having to experience a rush of air to her brain. Her eyes remained closed as she breathed, her nostrils and mouth taking in the sweet air that surrounded her. When they opened, they fell on Caelen, whose intense gaze had shifted downward. Sorry... she mumbled, embarrassed. Aife stared at him, eager to continue the excersize, her lips all ready empty from the absence of his own. She was tempted to lean forward, to capture him, but when he looked up at her, she paused. Caelen's features displayed a myriad of emotions, and Aife found it hard to read him. His lips opened and closed, teasing her. I... he muttered, his tone befuddled.
Aife watched him carefully, praying silently that things would not take a turn for the worse. She was trying desperately to urge him deeper, to make him realize the feelings buried deep inside. A sigh escaped her lips as her eyes locked with hi, and it drove her nearly insane with worry to not know what was going on inside that muddled brain of his. What she would not give to know what he was thinking at that moment...
Her thoughts were interrupted as Caelen's lips clashed against her own, his grip tightening around her as he pulled her body back into his arms' embrace. Surprised, Aife's eyes widened as he kissed her, his act more urgent now, and far less gentle. She felt his palm cradle her cheek, the pressure pushing her head to a tilt as she fought to respond equally. Aife held on, her mind racing to discover what could have brought on this kind of passion. She felt almost forced, as if he was completely unwilling to give her control of the situation. Her hands reached around his neck, cupping it's nape in her palms, her fingers lacing through his short hair, feeling the silky strands slide through the cracks.
Caelen's lips left hers, and for a moment Aife's sought his in confusion. When she finally felt his own move onto her neck, she felt a shiver of delight rush through her, and the butterflies, calm compared to the rest of her nervous being, began to travel far from home, throughout the rest of her body. Shaking, she held on, her lips kissing his cheek, his temple, meeting the soft golden locks of his head. She sighed as his lips caressed the pallid skin on her neck, shooting sparks of electricity throughout her as they moved. They made little sucking noised as they pursed, suctioning small areas of skin as his head moved to crook of her neck.
Caelen's hands were tense on her, holding her still in such a way that was not discomforting, but was still altogether controlling. She tried to move, and, realizing she couldn't, panic rose in her. Claustrophobic, she wasn't fond of being held still, or in one place, and she nearly gave way to the habitual insanity that threatened to crash over her. It's Caelen... just Caelen she told herself eagerly. Trust him... she noted. Her body relaxed in his grip, her arms wrapped around him best they could. The kisses he placed against her and the now hot breath that blew against her skin calmed her, and she sat reveling in his attentions.
Caelen paused, his lips pressed into her neck, and he parted his lips against the skin. Aife felt the sharp graze of his teeth on her neck, and her eyes widened slightly as she remembered what he could do. She wasn't exactly positive as to what happened to change someone into a vampire, or how you shared blood, or anything, but she was sure she had a basic understanding for it. And if Caelen knew what he was doing, then Aife was sure she'd come to no harm. The thoughts running through her head urged caution, but as Aife studied what she could see of Caelen, she realized that she was at complete calm with him.
Aife tightened her grip on him, fingers laced through his hair. She held on, her lips kissing his hair every now and then, as his teeth barred against her skin. Her eyes closed as she waited for what he would do next. A moment passed in which she thought time must stand still, and she nuzzled against him before she stretched her neck, leaving the thin layers of skin ini t's crook bare for him to see.
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A strange surge of happiness ran through him as Caelen felt Aife tense up in her arms. Panic rose in her as he could hear her heart suddenly pick up it’s speed. Her breathing rose for a moment and she became very still, he wondered if she realized she was giving such a reaction off. It was a normal thing to become defensive when being held on to so tightly and Caelen was glad that he caused such a reaction within her. Mostly because now it seemed that she was finally able to see what he was trying to say for the past weeks that his known her. With his tight grip at her back he could almost literally snap in her half. His strength enough was alone to kill her and he was hoping the tightness of his grip would cause her to realize that.
It wasn’t enough to hurt her, well at least he hoped it wasn’t. Caelen wasn’t looking to bruise her, only scare her a little. It sometimes took fear to shock important things into you, or open your eyes in a way and that was currently what he was going for. His sharp fangs ran along the smooth skin threatening to pierce at any moment and a small smile crossed his lips as he felt her shiver in his arms. Perhaps he was enjoying this more than he should? Caelen dismissed the thought as quickly as it came as he decided that he was only doing this to prove his point. Not because he wanted to, he had no conscious desire to bite the girl well at least he didn’t think so.
Aife struggled lightly in his arms causing him to only pull her closer. There was no space for her to move or even budge; it was futile to even try since it would only cause him to tighten his grip. He really wished she wouldn’t try again as he didn’t want to hold her to hard and regret it once this was over. Though he would probably regret this anyway, he was crossing the unnamed line between them. Though he did still wonder what made Aife so bold as to just kiss him, that didn’t mean she was fine with his cold lips wandering down her neck and throat. Of course Caelen couldn’t help the sensuality of the thing, and he didn’t really want… he’d already crossed the line. How much more trouble would he get into, it was barely a kiss anyway, not like he was leaving her visible love bites.
To Caelen’s utter dismay, Aife relaxed against him and brought her arms to wrap around his shoulders. His eyes widened for a moment as he realized that she was no longer in a state of panic. It didn’t seem as if she was being submissive to him either, it was more like she didn’t mind it at all. Though Caelen was sure the feel of his fangs must be somewhat disconcerting even if not uncomfortable so he couldn’t see why she chose now to relax against him. His fears seemed to come to life as he felt her fingers running through his hair, softly touching his scalp as she moved more willingly against him. No longer attempting to pull out of his tight embrace, it now seemed as if she actually wanted to be closer to him.
He felt her breath return to it’s normal pace along with her heartbeat taking on it’s natural calm as he held her. Caelen once again felt frustrated. It seemed her fear and panic lasted too short of a time and now she was once again too comfortable in his arms. A mass of confused emotions surged through him as he paused momentarily to clear his mind. Part of him was glad that even as he was so close and dangerous to her she still trusted him but most of him was angry. Aife simply did not get it, either that or she didn’t realize her actions. It seemed both of them were stubborn and Caelen was never one to give in easily, he was going to do what was necessary to prove his point.
He leaned into her parting his lips wider so his fangs ran along her flesh more sharply and to his surprise Aife leaned her head to the side. His immediate reaction was to remain frozen as a breath escaped him. Did she want him to bite her? Caelen looked at her extended neck and moved her hand that previously held her chin to slide along her side. With a sigh he pulled away slightly and rested his hand on her hip. His eyes closed in frustration as it looked liked there was no convincing Aife. She was more stubborn than he was and that wasn’t at all a good thing. There was no convincing her. Caelen released his grip around her torso and leaned his head unto her shoulder to bury his face into the crook of her neck.
“You might be Insane” Caelen mumbled lowly under his breath not sure whether or not Aife heard him. He leaned back against the couch and pulled her unto his lap so she sat almost straddling him. With a small breath Caelen opened his eyes and pulled away so that he was looking into her confused gaze. His eyes shifted towards the ground quickly and he took a deep breath before returning his gaze on hers. His eyes dark and clouded with anger as he pulled his hands away from her hips to set them by his side on the couch. . Caelen inhaled a breath of fresh air and her pleasant scent entered his nostrils along with the promising intoxication of her blood. Almost involuntary his lips parted so that the white sharp incisors were visible.
“I could kill you… do you…” Caelen spoke harshly and quickly as he looked at her. His hand flexed by his side before extending to grab her hand which rested on his shoulder after she stopped touching his hair. “Why can’t you understand that?” His words came out colder than he intended as he leaned forward, his lips thinning out as he practically hissed. Fangs in full view. He let go of her hand so that it dropped in their lap and gritted his teeth in frustration. “I could kill you, with the slightest mistake” Caelen spoke more softly now but the same angry tone remained as he looked at her. “But still you…” Caelen breathed and his hand twitched again as he felt the need to grab something. “You act as if you don’t know how dangerous I am, you’re not cautious at all and you’re much too comfortable in my presence…” His words came out with pauses as he tried to put together all the thoughts running through his mind.
“You act like you’re not afraid” Caelen finished more calmly and ran his tongue along his lips quickly. “And it’s not… it doesn’t help” It seemed everything was just coming out on its own as words just flowed from his lips. Broken sentences that made no sense as he started to ramble. It couldn’t be stopped now, all of his frustration was just pouring out into the open as he continually tried to make his fangs retract with no progress. “If I had bitten you… there’s no telling if I could have stopped Aife…” Caelen’s tone changed completely as he wanted to sound more convincing. He was hoping that his words were able to make her understand. “You can’t trust me… I’m not that strong yet… you absolutely refuse to see that” Caelen sighed and leaned back against the couch.
He rested his head against the head of the couch and closed his eyes. His hand flexed again involuntarily as it now felt empty and awkward since he was no longer touching her. But he refused too, he wouldn’t help build her hopes up with more of his touches. Caelen decided he would have to deal with the annoying twitching of his hand and ignore the urge to pull her back against him. “I just wish you didn’t have so much faith in me… I’m not safe” The words came out low and with an air of tiredness as he bit along his bottom lip tightly. The fangs pierced the skin with almost no effort causing a tiny wound that still seeped the crimson liquid. Just another show of proof for her.
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Aife's mind was focused on the feeling of Caelen's teeth tracing the faded blue lines along her neck. She kept waiting for the sharp points to graze a little too closely, to press just hard enough, but they never did. Expertly, his shining white teeth ran along her skin, sending shivers through her as she clutched his hair. But the moment she craned her neck, leaving the stretched skin vulnerable to his lips' wet embrace, Caelen froze, his arms still in their death grip around her body. His hand reached to hers, removing it from him and placed it by her side. Aife gazed at him, confused. Wasn't this what he wanted? His expression was lost, distant, as if something was heavy on his mind, and his eyes regarded her as if she were crazed.
Caelen's hand came to rest on her hip, and Aife's body gave an involuntary shudder of delight at the light touch. This felt good. The closeness, the comfort, everything- it was almost too much to bear. Why then was he looking at her so? As if he'd seen her again for the first time, only in this situation she'd just performed a ridiculously idiotic and impossible feat. Caelen's eyes closed in fustration, and he released her from his arms. Aife gave a tiny whimper at the loss of contact. It seemed unnatural, but the closeness- it felt right. Only when Caelen's head came to her shoulder did she cease to feel lost, and she cradeled his locks in her hands.
You might be insane she heard him mutter into her neck, the heavy breath that blew onto her skin causing goosebumps to race along her arms. Caelen leaned back, allowing Aife to study his face. She was surprised, but none the less pleased, when he pulled her onto his lap, gripping the crease behind her knees to bring her legs on either side of his lap. His lids lifted to reveal sharp, indigo eyes, and Aife sagged as he released her once again, and left his hands open at his sides. Her fingers played idly with the locks at the nape of his neck, before her hand moved gently to caress his shoulder. Caelen's lips parted, revealing the sharp cornerstones of his teeth. Aife grinned as she watched them, marveling at the difference between her own small incisors and his lengthened ones.
I could kill you... Caelen said sharply, his features harsh and angered. Do you... His hands gripped into fists at his sides. One reached for her hand that was now settled on his shoulder, and took it into his own. Why can't you understand that? he asked, his words hashing out as he leaned toward her. Aife reclined a little, hips clenching his legs for balance until he leaned back against the couch. He dropped her hand in his lap as he hissed, his incisors seeming to lengthen into fangs as she watched. I could kill you, with the slightest mistake Caelen pointed out. His voice came softer now, though the tone was just as harsh. But still you... His breath came quickly as he struggled to get the words out.
Aife lifted her hands, kneading them before her while she sat waiting patiently, secretly enjoying her position. She reached forward, one hand fiddling with a button on his shirt as he spoke. You act as if you don't know how dangerous I am... he noted irritably. You're not cautious at all, and you are much too comfortable in my presence... His words faded in the great expanse of the room they occupied, and Aife gazed at him, her cerulean orbs holding his own. She held a million things in her head, ready to fly out to finish his worries, but she felt it best to let him speak. For some reason, she felt he was stronger than he thought, or let on, at least. She wondered what the consequences truly would be if he let himself be free with her, let things run their natural course.
You act like you're not afraid Caelen said quietly. Aife leaning in to hear his muted words, grateful for a reason to bring herself closer to him. She continued to pick at the button, her nail stuffing the frayed threads into their respective holes. And it's not... it doesn't help... Caelen's words came out muddled, frustrated. Aife's brows furrowed as she watched him. Why was it so hard for him, even now, to speak to her? Why couldn't he just be comfortable with her? Calm? If I had bitten you... there's no telling if I could have stopped, Aife... Caelen said in a rush. The sadness in his voice reached out to her, and felt the urge to lean forward, to fold him into her arms, to comfort him. You can't trust me... I'm not that strong yet... you absolutely refuse to see that Caelen said with a sigh. Aife watched him as he leaned against the couch, his body language rife with defeat.
Caelen's throat was stretched tight as his neck reclined against the couch, his body relaxed in its seated position. Aife watched him, sitting silently herself, careful not disturb his thoughts. If he needed space, she'd give him space. But she wished to Merlin that he would stop trying to protect her, stop trying to control her. His hands, with their tapered, porcelain white fingers, flexed lightly at his sides, and Aife's eyes focused on them, watching the wrists tighten as his fingers moved. I just wish you didn't have so much faith in me... I'm not safe... he said quietly. His tone was dejected, and Aife frowned as she watched him, his lips moving as he chewed along the pink flesh thoughtfully.
Aife nibbled along her own lip, copying Caelen, as she thought about his words. He looked tired, dejected even. She fiddled with the button on his shirt some more, her head tilting as she tried to weave a stray thread between the holes. Securing the last of the thread, she smoothed it flat, her hand running along the soft black cotton of his shirt. Aife looked at him, her eyes studying him as he sat before her. She watched him lick his lips, a streak of red sharp against the soft pink of his tongue.
I wonder... she thought, as she watched him sitting thoughtfully, lips repeating the action every couple of seconds. Aife leaned forward, placing her hands at Caelen's waist to support herself. She was an inch away when his eyes widened, and his lips opened in protest. One hand rose, and she lifted a finger before his gaze. Just. one. moment... she said slowly, hoping for everything that she held dear that he would hold still for just long enough... He seemed to freeze, and his brows furrowed in curiosity as she leaned forward slowly. Her palms gripped his waist as she leaned closer, and her lips met his own, slower now than they had at first.
Aife could feel Caelen begin to move, his protest welling beneath the movement of his lips. She squeezed his sides in warning, begging for him to stay put for one more second. He seemed to calm, though his body was tense and alert as she leaned into him. She brought her arms to wrap around his neck, and her tongue parted his softly. The soft, pink muscle began to explore his teeth again, and she pulled it between the skin of his gums, and the soft watery flesh of his lips. Her taste buds snagged the bitter salty taste of a foreign liquid, and she froze as she realized what it was. Seeping from a tiny wound in his lip, Caelen's blood clashed with the sweet saliva that kept his mouth moist. Aife paused and, squeezing him closer into her arms, licked the wound, taking in the sweet moisture that ebbed from the teeny hole. Caelen froze, again, his back and neck stiff as she pulled away.
Aife stared at him, her large darkened irises beholding his above a cat-caught-the-canary grin. She tilted her head, her gaze meeting his in a challenge. It's not that bad... she said thoughtfully. Her tongue peeped out as she savored the taste. Don't tell me you've never been able to stop before? she asked, one brow arched. She released her arms from their grasp around Caelen's neck, and her hands came to rest before her, cradled together in her lap. She had no idea how he'd respond to what she just did, but she was too deep now- it felt critical that they keep crossing boundaries, clouding lines... After all, it was one way or the other, and Aife truly hoped that the one path Caelen chose was the one that brought them closer together.
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The feel of the sharp incisors piercing through his lip was a strange one if nothing else. The skin felt softer than he thought but that might have just been because of how easily the fangs cut through it. He has never really bitten himself to see the power of the strengthened teeth, he just assumed they were. It took no effort to pierce through flesh, whether it is human or animal so Caelen never really thought much of it. Now that his lip was in fact bleeding from the small wound he immediately felt worse for his actions with Aife. He could have accidentally scratched her and there’s no telling whether or not he would have been able to stop himself from biting her.
The scent of his own blood quickly filled the room and entered his nostrils. It was a strange moment for Caelen as he realized that it was plain and not at all alluring. Was this the first time he’s actually bled and took the time to acknowledge it since he turned? That was possible because he doesn’t remember identifying a scent before. Curiosity got the better of him and before the small wound could let more of the crimson liquid seep through his tongue darted out to lick the blood off his lips. It tasted like the equivalent of water to him and Caelen found that he was shocked. When he was human and bit his tongue or his lips the blood always tasted somewhat metallic, or well strange in its own way. Now it was completely tasteless, it was a wonder because blood wasn’t suppose to taste that way to his kind.
It was suppose to be sweet as wine and just as addicting, that is why blood lust was formed. The taste made it so intoxicating that it was hard to not want it even if there was no need for it. It was their source of a drug and sustainment. Maybe all vampires didn’t find their own blood appealing, it might be a precaution or else the insane one might actually try to feed off theirselves. Caelen gave a small chuckle at the thought but it immediately stopped when he felt Aife moving forward on his lap. Her hands were at his waist and he could feel the shifting in weight as she leaned towards him. Caelen opened his eyes and narrowed his brows in confusion as his eyes searched hers. He thought that she would have been angry with his little outburst so of course he was slightly on edge.
Curiosity got the best of him and he opened his mouth to speak but she gestured with her hand for him to stop. An eyebrow rose questioningly as he watched her carefully. Aife just seemed to be full of surprises today and so far none of them has been something that he didn’t like but still Caelen prided himself in always being steps ahead so he felt a little annoyed at being kept in the dark until she acted. Just. one. moment... Her words came out slowly with pauses in between as if she was still hesitant. Caelen being somewhat entranced just sat so she would continue whatever she planned to do. Aife continued moving forward and Caelen froze once he realized what she really was up to. He wouldn’t mind her kiss, never that, but the taste of his blood still lingered on his tongue and he wasn’t sure how she’d react to it. Though it did seem as if it was her curiosity that was driving this time.
Her lips met his slower than their previous kiss and his thoughts were confirmed. Instantly his hands moved from their frozen position on the couch to move to her waist. He was about to pull her away when he felt pressure at his side and Aife leaned closer to him. It was almost in warning and Caelen hesitantly dropped his hands in return. If she wanted to kiss him so bad he wouldn’t stop her, the only objection in his mind was the fact that she might be repulsed by the tasteless red liquid that was still on his tongue. Aife wrapped her arms around his neck and Caelen decided to just give in to the moment, he returned her kiss slowly coming to the conclusion that he was worrying way too much about such little things.
Though the moment of calm was short-lived as she tensed against him. As Aife froze so did he, what he predicted did happen and now he was expecting her to pull away with a look of disgust or horror on her face. To his surprise she only pulled closer to him and ran her tongue along the small wound. His eyes widened in shock and Caelen sat very still until she pulled away. Confusion ran along his mind along with surprise. Did she deliberately taste his blood? He wasn’t sure what to make of that. The only thing that he did decide was that Aife really was a weird one. None of his words has gotten through to her obviously; she really did not care about the danger that was so close to her.
It's not that bad... She spoke never breaking his gaze, Caelen wasn’t sure what else to do but stare back. No words came to mind, not even questions. He felt too confused and shocked at the whole thing to actually reply to her actions. “Don't tell me you've never been able to stop before?” Her words came out almost in a joking manner as she pulled her arms away from his neck to drop them in front of her. Caelen couldn’t figure out whether or not she was being sarcastic or completely serious. The question sounded as if she already knew the answer and he wasn’t sure if this was her way of mocking him. He has been able to stop before, numerous times but he’s never told her so. He didn’t see how she sounded so sure in her tone and words.
”That doesn’t matter” Caelen replied quickly, not at all amused at her words. Sarcastic or not it really didn’t matter as he would still answer her. ”And it’s not the same” He added seriously as his dark eyes studied her face. Of course he did manage to avoid her question completely but well he really didn’t see the need for her to know. It might lessen the point that he was trying to make, he needed all the help he could get to convince her at the moment. Though so far all of his actions seemed to have been useless. Aife was extremely stubborn or was it hopeful? Possibly foolish. They all meant the same thing to Caelen, just different words. All outcomes were usually the same.
Caelen moved forward, straightening himself on the couch and released a small breath. ”Why did you do that?” He asked finally able to make words on her previous actions. He was still confused and now he wanted answers. ”And it is bad… well in a sense…” Caelen said with a sigh and shook his head gently. Though the act was very strange for her Caelen couldn’t really deny that he savored it. It was… interesting if nothing else, and something new. ”It’s not good to want it… It’s sick” Caelen spoke more softly and licked at the wound that has already began to heal. ”There’s no getting through to you is there…” He asked suddenly with a light laugh as he noticed he almost sounded like a scolding parent. ”I mean… you’re just… you’re really not going anywhere” He spoke more seriously and softly as he looked at her. . It seemed as if he was the one that would have to just give up the fight. He wasn’t getting anywhere and whenever he tried to be angry she kissed him, it was a losing battle.
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Aife felt her stomach sink at Caelen's stunned silence. Again she wondered- had she gone too far? She fought to keep her sure footed demeanor as he stared at her, brows crooked in a silent response. Maybe he was just surprised. Maybe he even liked it a little bit. But all he did was stare, and the feelings that shot through Aife as she watched him lay unsettled with her. She sighed, the sound audible enough through her now closed mouth. It was a surprised for herself even, so she could understand how he'd act so. Lips pursed, she tasted the last tainting remains of the liquid she suckled minutes before. It was bitter, but none the less sweet, and reminded her of the crimson Cabernet her mother was so fond of using in cooking.
That doesn't matter. Caelen's response, quick and determined, brought Aife from her reverie. And it is not the same, he insisted. Aife glared at him, the darkness clouding in her eyes mirrored in his own. She watched him as he sat in thought, his faced screwed up adorably in confusion and indecision. It would be no good if he led them to back track through the progress they'd all ready made. She was trying so hard to make him comfortable, but she now feared that her actions, normally so unlike her, were alarming him more than anything. Though, it didn't seem as if he hated the change, if anything. It wasn't hard for her to tell, what with the way his body tensed beneath hers as she moved. Especially how his hands gripped around her when her neck craned to help her gain even more access to the saccharine zest beyond his lips.
Caelen straightened himself on the couch, and inclined toward her, his bright eyes locking with Aife's. Why did you do that? he asked her slowly. Her brows furrowed, like his own, and she pursed her lips again. She shrugged, not knowing really what to say to him. It wasn't standard practice for a human to take the blood of a vampire, no matter how small and insignificant the amount, she knew. And it was becoming difficult for her to sort herself out, to see the reason behind the madness that grew when she felt Caelen drifting from her. She closed her eyes as he spoke, and tried to calm the burning sensation of shame. It was all necessary. No matter the cost, the reward was greater, she knew. It baffled her, the hold Caelen had on her, and she was at a loss to know why he affected her so.
And it is bad... Caelen continued, his head moving as he shook it in disbelief. Well, in a sense... He sighed, the sound continually building in its tired and defeated manner. His gazed considered Aife thoughtfully, and she blushed under his inspection. Honestly, she wasn't entirely partial to the act, but she was beginning to feel like a child who was learning for the first time the difference between good and bad. She rolled her eyes beneath the lids as she listened, and her arms crossed in their own protective stance. It was unbelievable- here Caelen was, telling her that what she'd just done was wrong, when he most likely did it daily, whether it be to a human or not.
It's not good to want it... Caelen said pointedly. It's sick... His soft words sunk slowly into Aife's mind, as she tried to understand them. Had he just called her sick? Or, in his mind, had he been trying to relay the thought that, possibly, he was sick? She watched him, lids squinting as she tried to figure the statement out. Did he think she was an idiot? With a sigh, she tightened her arms and humphed. He wasn't sick, for all she knew. Despite his eternal state, his eating habits, and the way he seemed to enjoy pulling her along like a toy wooden duck, she knew she would never see him as sick. The worst she could feel for him, she thought, was bitterness and maybe resentment. But that was only if their relationship turned foul, and Aife was trying her best to keep it from doing so.
There is no getting through to you, is there? Caelen asked suddenly. His laugh, light but chiding, brought Aife to attention. She shook her head in agreement, a smile forming across her lips. You're right about that one... she said softly, her eyes sparkling. Maybe he was finally beginning to get it- when she was there for someone, especially someone she had feelings for, she was there all the way. And she really was going no where. I mean... you're just... Caelen's words came out slowly, softly, and Aife had to lean forward again to hear him. You're really not going anywhere... She smiled as he spoke, hope building inside her. The smile widened, and turned into a grin as the realization dawned on his face.
Aife thought about Caelen's earlier choice of words. That doesn't matter... and it's not the same... Her head tilted in thought as she watched his features, and her voice came puzzled, and curious. So... you actually have drunk from someone before? she asked carefully. She wasn't altogether positive how easy a subject it was for him. Especially since the last time they spoke about it, he left her stranded in the middle of a crowd of amorous couples. And you [b]have been able to stop. [/b]Her mind raced in thought, as it, yet again, attempted to formulate an other plan. Better that he know that one, probably... she figured silently. Does that make you, erm... Aife searched for the right words, the easiest ones to hear. More comfortable, I suppose? With the person, I mean... She winced, as she realized the question was probably completely out of Caelen's comfort range. It wasn't as if there weren't people, vampires, who couldn't control their lust for blood. She'd read some on the people under her grandmother's tutoring, but not really enough to know the finer points of the subject.
Aife quietened, her eyes intent on Caelen's, as she watched his features. He was so beautiful, so caring. She really did not know what would happen if they left the room that day, prepared to go their separate ways. To her, it wasn't an option. She was never good with change, especially when it was negative. But she wasn't sure exactly how deeply Caelen's absence would affect her, and that was what scared her most. She leaned forward, hands tucked beneath her chin, into his arms, and allowed his cold shoulder to cradle her head. Her movement was slow, careful, and she brought her arms down and around him, and cuddled against him softly. His heartbeat was barely audible in her ear, and the slow, methodical beating was calming as she sat nervously in his lap. He was still and, though she couldn't see his face, something made her feel like he was listening, waiting.
I don't know exactly why I did that, Aife admitted quietly against his chest. I thought, well... Kissing- I guess I figured that it was bit like having a part of me, only a few tiers below... You seem so self conscious when you're around me. Like you are watching your every move. Aife blushed, and she spoke quickly, rushing to get the explanation beyond her lips before she could take it back. She felt almost embarrassed to speak so, but she was all ready well beyond her comfort level. How much farther could she go? You responded she said pointedly. And you stopped, too. Would drinking from me help you to be more comfortable? Or would it be too great a feat?
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A look of confusion crossed his face as Caelen watched Aife break out into a grin. His last words had obviously made her happy even though that wasn’t what he was exactly aiming for. Though he supposed there was a reason for her to be happy, she had won after all and Caelen, well, he was to the point of saying to hell with it. He did spent a lot of time and effort of trying to convince her that he was too dangerous to be around her but Aife simply didn’t mind, or care. She didn’t think he was a threat which to an extent did make Caelen happy but than again he didn’t want to risk hurting her and watching her trust and faith in him crumble. It would be too hard to bear and he didn’t want things ending on a sour note between them.
So... you actually have drunk from someone before? Aife’s words came out puzzled as the wide grin on her face was now replaced with a questioned look. Her mind seemed to be working frantically, Caelen could tell, by the way she tilted her head and her eyes crinkled slightly in thought. He became more alert suddenly, as he didn’t really like the combination of question and the current state of mind she was in. He couldn’t tell what exactly she was thinking so every second that passed seemed to take forever as he waited for her to speak. His hands flexed at his side quickly as he remembered that she did just question him and was probably listening very carefully for his reply.
Unfortunately for them Caelen was currently too deep in a state of panic to actually form words. So he nodded, the words yes couldn’t seem to come out of his lips as he was afraid of what her reaction would be. Along with a possible scolding from her, it really wasn’t fair if he has been able to stop with others but was too cautious with her. Aife might take that as an insult even and he was nervous that he might offend or upset her. So he wouldn’t speak unless needed lest he says the wrong things. .And you have been able to stop. Another short nod and sigh escaped him as he continued to look at her. What exactly was she thinking about? Though the subject wasn’t very random since it was what they’ve been talking about the questions still set him on edge.
”I have” Caelen added after his nod and licked his lips quickly over the now fully wound as he observed her face. It seemed Aife was nervous too and her questions came out somewhat hesitantly as if she was choosing just the right words to say to him. Afraid not to sent him into a frenzy or state of panic it seems. This of course did nothing to calm Caelen, in fact he became more paranoid as he desperately wanted, or needed, to know what was going on through that sharp mind of hers. Caelen hated being left in the dark, really hated it. It was a weakness of his how much trouble he would go through just get answers. Usually those answers ended up being a disappointment also… but he always loved the feeling of just knowing.
Does that make you, erm... Aife trailed off into her sentence and Caelen’s eyes narrowed cautiously. It seemed she didn’t really know how to phrase her question and impatience was slowly nipping at him. He just wanted her to get it out already before he had a brain hemorrhage from this slow torturous conversation. More comfortable, I suppose? With the person, I mean... Caelen was taken aback by her words and raised an eyebrow slightly in return. ”What?” He asked with a hint of confusion in his tone. He didn’t mean for the words to be harsh, he was just really confused as too why she’d ask that. His narrowed eyes searched her face and he could see the slight tinge of guilt in her expression and Caelen softened quickly. He didn’t mean to make her feel bad, the question didn’t offend him any. He was just surprised is all.
”I mean… um… that’s just kind of random…” Caelen spoke with a small breath as he forced his body to relax against the cushion of the couch. ”Yes I guess…” He answered her question and bit his lip gently. ”Just… because I know I become more capable to surpass the… need and all… “ He trailed off slightly not sure whether or not his words were making much sense to her. But the question was a weird one so it got a weird answer. Caelen swallowed for about the first time since he’s entered the room as he flexed his fingers once again. Stretching them out so he would relieve some of the tension that crawled to his body.
Aife leaned forward suddenly to lean against him and her actions took him by surprise. She was really very comfortable around him and Caelen decided there is no use in even fighting it anymore. Her arms were around him as she got more comfortable and placed her head upon his shoulder. The sudden contact was nice, he had to admit, very comforting. It sent all the troubles away for the time being and Caelen gave a small smile as he brought his hand around her waist. He could spend the rest of the day like this, Caelen decided, just enjoying the feel of each other’s embrace. It almost brought a new form of closeness between the two of them. Something like acceptance and joy for Caelen to see Aife did enjoy his touches.
Aife was the first to break the soothing silence between as she spoke quietly. I don't know exactly why I did that Her words were soft and Caelen could feel each vibration coursing through her as she spoke. Though he only just remembered that he did question her earlier and it appeared she finally was comfortable enough to answer him. I thought, well... Kissing- I guess I figured that it was bit like having a part of me, only a few tiers below... You seem so self conscious when you're around me. Like you are watching your every move. Her explanation came out very rushed and almost sounded rehearsed. As if she practiced it in her head a million times before speaking, though her words did make him feel guilty. He did act that way around her but it was for a reason. One that he’s given up trying to explain to her.
”You responded” Aife spoke almost accusingly and Caelen gave a short chuckle. ”Should I apologize for that…?” He asked in a teasing tone as his hand left her waist to travel up her side absentmindedly. ”You didn’t seem to mind…” He finished unable to hide the smile that was on his lips as he spoke. Surely his words would cause her face to become has red as her hair but he liked that about her. Her boldness from earlier was probably going to be one of the main things he could use to have her blushing like mad. ”And you stopped, too.” Aife pointed out again and he gave a small breath. He didn’t see any use of saying anything to that, not to mention the only thing he could come up with was it’s not the same and that was getting old.
”Would drinking from me help you to be more comfortable? Or would it be too great a feat?” The question caused his hand to stop moving along her rib cage as his body tensed. There was no way that she really was suggesting that. Caelen released a breath as he tried to once again relax so she wouldn’t move from her position against him. ”That’s not… He began with another breath as his hand returned to it’s soothing movement more slowly. ”Not an option. He spoke sternly though he already knew the words would not get through to her. ”Really Aife has anything I’ve said sunk in?” Caelen spoke somewhat frustrated. It was mostly at himself because Aife did actually make a point but he also had a point and he refused to consider that.
Though he knew she was right. If he did drink from her he would be more comfortable, because he would have already had a taste. That would make it much easier to resist than normal but still, what if he couldn’t stop. If it was too good maybe? A lot of vampires has had that happened to them and Caelen didn’t want to be one of them. ”That’s really…” Caelen sighed as he searched his brain for something of actual importance to say to her. ”I can’t” He added more softly as nothing else came to mind but his defeat. He didn’t know how to explain to her why it would be much different than anyone else and everything he tried didn’t work. He really needed to add more words into his vocabulary when dealing with Aife.
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Yes, I guess... Caelen answered her. Aife felt her heart race as he confirmed her thoughts. If he could drink from her, maybe then he could be normal around her, actually touch her without the obvious need for self control. Just... because I become more capable to surpass the... need and all... His throaty voice trailed off, and Aife watched his fingers as they flexed again. He sure was fidgety.
Aife nearly melted when Caelen took her waist in his hands. She could nearly feel his smile stretch across his lips as she leaned against him, and she grinned in response to his touch. Her words went unanswered, and she suddenly felt foolish at the silence. You responded... she finished, her voice accusing as she highlighted his involvement in their heady embrace. Should I apologize for that? he asked her, his voice teasing and light. Aife shivered as she felt his fingers play along her side. The motions were doing funny things to her insides, and she had to breathe deeply to stay calm. You didn't seem to mind...
Aife blushed scarlet, her face fiery in heat. She gristled as she reminded herself silently to stay on course. He was so distracting. Every word, every caress- it seemed he knew just how to play her. Good thing she had her mother's determination. And you stopped too... Caelen didn't answer her, and she felt he was more at loss than anything. Her next words made him freeze, and his hand halted as it traced her side. He tensed obviously, and she mirrored his reaction in fear. Oh dear Lord... she thought to herself. He is going to think I am crazy...
That's not... Caelen's voice scared her almost. Say it, damn it... she thought as she waited, her patience ebbing from her. His hand began it's motions again, tickling her hot skin as it moved over her camisole. Not an option, he said finally. His voice was stern, and almost disciplinary. Really, Aife, has anything I've said sunk in? he asked her, his voice rough. She could feel the tension that seeped from him, transferring itself to her body. Her head buried into his chest, as she hid her red-hot face. Tears welled in her eyes, and she battled with them urgently, her breathing deepening with small huffs.
Caelen was silent for a time, and Aife gave him the moment to think over his response. Intent on her self control, she barely heard him as he sighed his next choice of words. That's really... She could feel him searching for the right thing to say. Possibly so as not to hurt her feelings, more probably to show her once more how dangerous he could be for her. Maybe he did get it- that she wasn't going anywhere. But the one understanding that he was lacking, was the amount of dedication to him that was becoming easier for her to devote as she spent more time with him. I can't, he murmured. The words, so simple, so small, were so very final to her ears.
Her sigh came stifled, morose. Aife, usually so strong, so dependable, so much the rock, could feel herself breaking into tiny bits of hopeless sorrow. She looked up at Caelen, her chin resting on his sternum, her gaze so close to his own. You really do not get it she said as she found a loss for words. Why was it that his presence limited her speech so? She pushed herself up, her hands coming to rest on his sides. Look at me, she said sternly, one hand softly cupping the side of his face. Do you even want to be comfortable with me? she asked him, her voice hard and determined. She wiped at her eyes with her free hand, angrily brushing away the tears that threatened to spill over.
Aife took a deep breath, her chest swelling with the inflation of her lungs, and falling as she let the air out slowly. Calm... she told herself. Calm... She looked at him, her head nearly level with his, and smiled sadly. It looks to me, that if we don't do something about your... comfort zone... she mused slowly. An other deep breath helped her continue in the threatening face of a new swell of tears. We are only hurting ourselves, she continued miserably, her voice breaking as she began to lose the battle she was waging with her self control. I don't want you to not be there, Caelen. And only because we didn't do one thing that could have only aided us in the long run...
Aife brought her hands to her face, hiding the salty wave of tears that breached her red, swollen lids. She stiffened, fighting the urge to break down, give up, and make a complete fool out of herself in front of Caelen. Her shoulders hunched as she froze, in attempt to protect herself from the moment. She wanted to disappear, to drop right out of the floor and be gone forever. Never had she once let anyone, or anything, affect her in so deeply a way. She sniffled, and cleared her throat. Her hands came down slowly, finding rest in the valley between the two bodies.
Sorry... Aife murmured, her face still red, though now with guilt. You shouldn't have to be made to make such a choice, she noted. However, Caelen, she said pointedly, her gaze locked with his, searching from features rife with reject and grief. By saying no, by denying to... drink from me, to calm your thirst... She took one last deep breath, her fingers fiddling nervously with the button on his shirt. Then you doom any relationship we can have, from this moment on. She held his gaze, no trace of a smile, of happiness, of the joy she felt earlier, in her features. I can not be your friend, Caelen, without being yours.
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The change in the tension of her body told him very loudly that he’s hurt her. Aife buried her head farther into his chest to try to not make it obvious but it was already done. Caelen gave a small sigh and gritted his teeth at anger at himself. He does not seem capable of not upsetting her. This was so very frustrating for him, he didn’t want to keep hurting her so but he couldn’t get rid of his morals. Not when he drilled it into himself for about a century, you couldn’t just simply forget about things like that in such a way and that is what Aife seemed to be asking from him. He couldn’t give it, not so very easily.
He could hear her breathing change into small rapid breaths and Caelen was sure that was her way of holding in the tears that were sure to follow. He could smell it really, the salty scent that tears had, but it wasn’t very strong which meant that her eyes were only tearing but she wasn’t crying. That of course did nothing to soothe him as he knew he was the reason for this. Why did this have to happen to him? Sometimes he hoped that he could wish he’d never met her but even that was completely impossible. He had too strong feelings for her to ever wish her presence away. It would hurt him more than this was currently doing.
Aife gave a stifled sigh and the guilt just continued to drive deeper into him. Her head shifted on his chest so that her chin rested against him as she looked up. Her eyes deep and wet with the evidence of the pain he caused her. You really do not get it Her words came out sharp but somehow still broken as she spoke and Caelen found himself turning his attention straight ahead towards the window. He just couldn’t face her right now, not when he was hurting her and causing her to cry. He was really afraid that the walls of persistence, or stubbornness, that he’s build would just crumble and Caelen couldn’t afford that.
Aife pushed up on his chest so she could face him better and rested her hands on his side. Caelen on the other hand was doing everything he thought possible simply to avoid her gaze. Look at me Her words came out sharp and stern as she cupped his face and Caelen was force to give her his attention. His dark eyes trying so very hard to not give in and just do whatever she wanted to keep her from being sad. Do you even want to be comfortable with me Aife continued and Caelen’s eyes widened quickly in shock. Was she really asking him that? That seemed almost unfair. ”Of course Caelen answered somewhat stupidly once the shock of her question was worn off.
It looks to me, that if we don't do something about your... comfort zone... Aife continued speaking and he darted his eyes around quickly before resting on her face to see her giving a sad smile. Caelen returned his attention towards the window once again though he wasn’t really paying attention to outside. He could hear her taking another deep breath and Caelen felt his hand flexed slightly. We are only hurting ourselves she continued and Caelen couldn’t help but silently agree.
Her voice broke again and he could hear the struggle in it as she tried so very hard to keep her tears from falling or crying while she spoke. Feeling guilty at looking past her he brought his eyes to her face again and released a small breath. I don't want you to not be there, Caelen. And only because we didn't do one thing that could have only aided us in the long run... Aife made it sound so simple and it only made him feel worse. But it wasn’t that simple. She was asking him to drink from her AFTER he nearly gave her lectures as to why he thought himself a monster. How could she ask such a thing from him? It was selfish in a way and very cruel.
Aife brought her hands to her face but kept it there instead of wiping away the tears that threatened to fall. Her body stiffened and he wanted so bad to comfort her and tell her it was going to be fine but truth of the matter was it wasn’t. This wasn’t a normal thing that people argued about and it couldn’t be solved that easily. She wasn’t thinking it through clearly and it was affecting her so much more than him. Finally Aife brought her hands down to rest in between them and the touch was much different from the one earlier. This one was full of tension and seemed so weak somehow. It held the pain that was written so clearly on her face and her whole body seemed almost defeated.
Sorry... Aife spoke lowly and Caelen shook his head from side to side quickly as if to say don’t be but the words didn’t come out. He was unable to form any with his mind in such a state. So many emotions to decipher and solve, it was almost driving him mad. Her face were a strange shade of Scarlett not like the one she had when she blushed but rather the one that showed she felt ill. You shouldn't have to be made to make such a choice Aife spoke more clearly and Caelen felt alert once again. He was sure she wasn’t done and whatever she said after this he was sure would be worse than all the others. This was one of those situations that always followed a but. However, Caelen, He released a small breath at the words as he unconsciously braced himself for what was to come next.
By saying no, by denying to... drink from me, to calm your thirst... Aife continued and each word seemed to calm out so slowly. She took a deep breath as she prolonged what he assumed to be the worse news he would probably ever hear and his impatience was actually calm. He was just waiting, not anxious to hear what she said as every second that past his guilt just became worse and worse. Then you doom any relationship we can have, from this moment on. Caelen’s breath caught in his throat as he stared at her in shock. A small noise sounding much like a groan escaped his lips as he tried to clear his mind. Unfortunately it didn’t work as the words repeated themselves in his head over and over. Anything that Aife said after that was lost to him as he could only hear the same harsh words playing in his ears.
His mouth opened for a second but closed again as no sound came out. Aife was giving him an ultimatum and Caelen really at this point was beyond panic mode. You can’t do that He felt like saying but knew that sounded too childish to be used in this current situation. He needed something meaningful, something that would sum up everything he felt and everything he needed to tell her in one short sentence. His eyes went past her towards the window again as his hands flexed besides him. How could she do this to him? Really she didn’t really believe that they would be ok if this was to past. Caelen would be… angry and just very distraught if he did what she wanted. They would not be happy and chipper and full of joy.
”I…” Caelen spoke quietly and released a small breath as he gritted his teeth together tightly. ”I can’t…” The words came out so low and soft that it was barely a whisper. His eyes closed for a moment as guilt crashed down on him and he was actually forced to breathe, even though he wasn’t suppose to need to, as this time it felt like he couldn’t handle the internal pain that this was causing. He opened his eyes again to see Aife shifting on his lap slightly and he avoided her gaze. He couldn’t look up at her, not right now. Suddenly he felt her move more and began to slide off his lap. Caelen reached out quickly before he could think and grabbed her arm gently to keep her from going.
”Wait don’t” The words came out as one quick slur as he inhaled a breath and pulled her closer to him. He ended up no longer resting against the couch as his other hand moved to rest on her hips to draw her in. He was holding firm and satisfied that she couldn’t move, released her arms. ”I’m sorry…” Caelen spoke softly and pulled her against him until she was leaning against his chest. His body was working on its own accord now as his mind had long ago shut down at the thought that Aife really would leave him. With a soft sigh he reached up to slide the sweater off of her shoulders and uttered another sorry that was barely understandable. His grip tightened on her hip as he leaned forward to place his face at the small crook of her neck. ”it hurts a little…” He spoke quietly as the fangs once again lengthened. ”the bite I mean…” Caelen continued as he took another breath and closed his eyes again to curse himself at giving in.
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The shock that gathered with increasing speed on Caelen's face quite nearly broke the dam that held Aife's tears. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly, his face slack as he struggled to register her words. Aife stared at him, waiting for him to reply. Was it really that great a decision for him? His hesitancy made her think that maybe it really was so serious an act she was asking of him. She wondered how much it would hurt, and how she would be able to endure it if it did. Her mind returned to the books she'd read, and the accounts where the pleasure had been the main thing the people remembered. If it was so painful, how come they couldn't remember it? Did they simply choose to forget it? Or excuse it, because of the overlap of pleasure?
Aife stared at Caelen, her whole form tensed to receive whatever he decided with strength. He avoided her gaze, his own staring out the window behind her. His hands flexed beside him, a gesture Aife was beginning to associate with bad situations. I... Caelen's voice was hesitant, and he sighed as his mouth clamped shut. I can't... he tried again. His voice was so low that she had to strain to hear and understand his words. Aife's heart dropped as his eyes closed, and he actually- for the first time since she'd met him- began to breathe. They were deep, long intakes, full of stress and determination. Full of finality. Full of denial.
It felt like someone was ripping her gut out. Painful and hollow, Aife crashed there on Caelen's lap, her face falling as she realized he was saying no. She stared at him, for just a few moments longer, waiting to wake up from the lucid nightmare. And she didn't. She sat there, in his lap, somehow feeling alone, like all else was distant. He should have had his arms around her. He should have been holding her, telling her it would be okay, kissing her, caressing her into calm. And he was sitting on the lounge, hands at his sides, his eyes closed, blocking her out. They hurt the most, the walls he was erecting against her. And she couldn't take it a second longer.
Aife shifted her hips, trying to force herself to climb off him. It broke her heart to think that she would lose contact with him, when it could very well be the last time they ever had contact at all. He opened his eyes at the motion, and they moved as soon as they landed on her. He can't even look at me... she sighed inwardly. The world caved in, and she clamped a hand over her mouth as a sob broke out. This is it. This is really it... She couldn't take it anymore. The pressure of the room collapsed upon her, and tears streamed down her face as she gave up, releasing the dam of salty liquid that so urgently wanted free. She was drowning. And there was nothing she could do about it.
Aife pulled one foot to the ground and, standing, slid her other leg over Caelen's lap. She was half turned when she felt an icy cold hand grip her arm. Wait... don't! Caelen's voice cried out to her as he pulled her back to him. Her head swirled as she gasped for air through her tears. She didn't understand- why had he changed his mind? His free hand pulled lightly, though forcefully, on her hips, making her return to his lap. The grip he maintained on her arm loosened, and she looked up at him, into his frantic gaze. Sobs seeped through her lips as she struggled to understand what was happening. They'd been so close- she thought he couldn't possibly torture her any more. Her eyes met his in fear, as her pain set unbridled and plain across her features.
I'm sorry... Caelen said quietly, his voice pleading. He pulled Aife to him, and cradled her to his chest. She felt his long, slender fingers slide her sweater off, lifting her arms carefully to pull the sleeves off. His apologies were soft and hesitant. Aife nuzzled into his chest, her lips soft on his shirt as she kissed him. It was no good anymore. She was broken. And not a thought was given as to whether he thought she was stupid, or childish, or idiotic in her ministrations. She breathed deeply, inhaling his intoxicating scent. It seemed she'd been gone a year, in that flat second she'd lost contact with him. And now she could breathe.
Caelen's grip tightened on her hips, and Aife looked up at him, her brows furrowed in anticipation. His vice like grip nearly startled her, and she stared at him. He leaned toward her, his face coming to rest in the small of her neck. Aife could feel her heart racing, picking up speed even quicker than it had before, when Caelen's lips joined hers. She clutched at him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned over her. A moment of intense panic ensued, and her eyes widened with fright. He was actually going to do it? She had a second of insecurity, before she gave herself a mental smack. Do not be afraid... he'll care for you... Her own voice sounded stern but triumphant in her mind, and she smiled as Caelen's breath raced against her skin. It hurts a little... he said quietly. The bite I mean..
Caelen's head bent closer to Aife's neck, and she could his jaw widening as he opened his mouth. Sharp points grazed the skin, and his humid breath blazed her as he came closer. They paused, and she could feel the slight pressure as he readied himself to strike. Two separate stabs came first, breaking her skin in unison, and she felt a frigid sting that lasted all of two seconds. Two seconds that lasted a week. Her eyes widened, growing in size as she took in the shock, while her mouth gasped in reaction. It was not exactly what she'd expected. She clamped her jaw shut, her teeth grinding at the pressure. Pain seared through, setting her body, her soul, her mind, afire, as she felt the sharp tips break her skin. She was freezing instantly, her body wrapped in an icy chill. Her teeth fought against their clutch as they tried to chatter, and she bristled as he held her, her body clinging to him.
Aife's muscles crunched audibly as Caelen bit into her, his incisors hooking into her neck. The second pain was worse than the first, and she cried out, her body moving in instinct to try to get away from him. Natural behavior fought to overrule her determination, and she clutched to him as her body split between survival and need. Survival, to release itself from the foreign object laying prey to her body. Need, to do what she had to in order for them to be together in peace, even if that meant sacrificing so vital a part of herself. Tears streamed down her face as she clung to him, and she battled to keep herself from pleading with him to let go.
Her body was ripping into bit, sending shocks through her body as Aife lay in Caelen's arms, her hands gripping the hair at the nape of his neck. It was agonizing. Like fire set to gasoline, pain seared her muscles as it raced through her, lashing every cell, every muscle, with a terrible burning sensation. A sweat broke along her skin, and the white tissue glistened in the pale light of the required room. Caelen's lips moved slightly against her skin, the feeling agitating her tender flesh. Moaning, her head swirled, dizziness overtaking her, and she closed her eyes as she felt Caelen's grip tighten around her. His fingertips were frozen points of relief on her skin, relieving the hellish sensation where they landed. She could feel her clothes sticking to her as her skin seeped with sweat, soaking her clothes and her hair. A deathly sheen coated the skin that began to steadily change from pale, translucent pink, to a hot, saucy red, and she groaned as she felt herself waning. The room was stuffy and bright, and the unbearable heat made everything uncomfortable.
Caelen gripped her even tighter, short of crushing her body against his, and Aife could feel the suction at her neck. The pressure was immense, and she could feel his jaw move slightly as he clamped even more securely into her neck. The feeling was strange at first- from among the searing pain came a pressure more uncomfortable than painful, and Aife frowned as she quietened. Her legs stopped their twitching, and she lay still, the only evidence of life being the hands still clutched in Caelen's hair. The calm that endured lent her little time to collect herself. Now, she could feel just how uncomfortable her wet clothes were against her skin, and though the sweat that clung to her was perspiring quicker than her body was cooling, she could feel the heat fading, leaving her lips cracked, and her mouth parched.
Aife squeezed her lids closer as she clung to Caelen, her hands gripping at him with confusion. Where was it going? What happened to the heat? She frowned as she struggled to break through her muddled mind and sort out the happenings for herself. How long had they been this way? An hour? Two? It seemed like a lifetime and then forever had passed since he'd pulled her back into his arms, his features panicked and desperate. The pressure in her neck faded from a frantic urge to a dull thud, and Aife looked opened her eyes, dazed. Was it over? Was that all? Her gaze slid to her side, and she could just make out the fuzzy view of Caelen's face from her peripheral. If it was over, why was his head still burrowed in her neck? The thudding pressure now felt more than anything like he was pressing slightly into her neck, save for the two center spots where the pressure was greatest. She tried with difficulty to keep her mind trained on the moment, and found it nearly impossible to keep herself from drifting into a crazed stupor.
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His mind was frantic and no actual thoughts were able to get through, besides the need to do whatever it took to keep Aife from keeping true to her words and ending any relationship that she had with him. It was purely instinctual actions that pulled her back to him before she could have a chance to get far, his mind was long gone by now as he realized that she really would leave him. Well truth of the matter was Aife couldn’t leave, not now anyway. Not when he has gotten so attached to her. There isn’t even an IF in the matter since he wouldn’t allow her to leave; his mind wouldn’t let him even though it was telling him that it’d be best if she did leave.
So between the confusion of needing her to leave and desperately needing her to stay his body simply acted on its own accord. Desperate desires overcame rational thinking causing no hesitancy left in what he planned to do. If that’s what Aife needed from him to believe that he did care for her than it would be done. It was kind of strange, that she was asking him to hurt her so they could actually move along but whatever it took was now his state of mind. And he did apologize to her, his light sorries were actually for his future actions not for driving her to tears. But he was sorry about that also, he never wanted to make her cry. It just at the time seemed like the choice that needed to be made but now well he wasn’t thinking clearly.
Her body tensed under his touch and slowly his grip on her arm began to lessen. It seemed that now he was satisfied that she wouldn’t try to run from him so he no longer had to hold on so tight. A small breath escaped him almost one of relief as Caelen pulled her closer and buried his face into the crook of her neck. His fangs has lengthened by now and they seem to be the proof that Aife needed, so now he could relax a little and clear his mind. Caelen inhaled a breath of fresh air that was mostly filled with Aife’s scent as he was so close to her. Of course he didn’t mind at all, it just calmed him as the almost panic attack started to simmer down. His eyes opened to follow the sweater as it slid to the ground and what he’s done has finally settled.
The haze was gone now as he inhaled the unique scent of Aife and tried to draw out the peace before the moment as long as he was able. Caelen pulled back slightly to look at her neck where the pulsing artery looked more visible than ever in his eyes. It must’ve have been just a vampire thing, he thought quietly, they way he was always able to see so clearly the vein or artery he planned to drink from. The carotid in the neck was the one he always chose, since it didn’t provide blood to the heart. It made him feel more confident as he knew the chance of killing them was less even if he did take a little while longer to stop than usual.
With a sigh Caelen slid his left arm around her waist to keep her in place against him as he pulled back gently. He managed to avoid looking at Aife the best that he could in fear of getting hesitant once again. He knew that he would be much gentler with her than he usually was, she seemed much too delicate and fragile in his arms to do anything else. His left hand came up slowly to brush against her collarbone. Now that the sweater was off it was much easier to see and well prepare himself for what he was about to do. His hand moved up slowly, thumb brushing over the small hollow space between her neck as if in this moment he really needed to know how smooth her skin was. So he could know how much pressure he had to add before the fangs sunk through.
Caelen tried to not think at all on the possibility of hurting her, instead his mind was set on moving her head the right way or pulling her closer so she could be comfortable. His hand stayed still on the small of her back to keep her against him as the other finished shifting her head for more room. With a small breath Caelen moved quickly, placing his other hand at her side and gripping on to her hips. He knew as a natural reaction Aife would become stuck on the flight option and that of course meant she would struggle. He had to hold her still or the bite might be much wider than he intended and Caelen didn’t want to hurt her anymore than was necessary.
He dipped his head to her neck once more placing a small kiss at the point where he would soon puncture before he opened his mouth. Fangs grazed against her skin and Caelen did his best to block out her uncomfortable state or panic as he continued. He needed no distractions until he was done and Aife’s already tightened grip around him was causing his mind to wander. With a sigh Caelen once against closed his eyes and widened his mouth as he sunk his fangs into her neck. She stilled and he paused, letting her adjust to the pain before continuing. His hold on her tightened and he buried his fangs deeper, past the muscle of her neck and towards the artery which waited so invitingly for him.
At once her blood started to rush out and into his mouth from the wounds and Caelen stopped breathing as he drank. He was determined to not enjoy the taste of it and with eyes closed and his mind close to going hazy he tried to slow the flow of it. Biting deeper so there was less room for it to seep through as he drank. Aife was in an unspeakable amount of pain, he could tell that the bite had affected her much more than others and it made him feel worse that he was doing this. But it was the only way she’d stay, Caelen reminded himself as he allowed the intoxicating liquid to slide down his throat. She pulled closer to him and the faint smell of tears mixed with her blood and he realized she was crying.
It took all of Caelen’s will power to convince himself to not let her go as he pulled her closer. Her top was clinging to her from sweat and all evidence seemed to only point to the pain he was causing her. The blood flow was very slow as Caelen waited, waited for the moment that it would become pleasurable instead of painful. It shouldn’t be long now he knew as her body stilled and breathing lessened. The pain was always sharp and intense but dullness usually came after than the soothing pleasure of the blood that was draining. For that to be effective it meant that he would have to shift slightly so the suction would be quicker. With a soft sigh Caelen moved his arm further up her back, pushing her neck further into his mouth so it would be more comfortable for them. Aife’s grip on his hair wasn’t causing him physical pain but was a reminder of how much he was hurting her. But he couldn’t stop, not before he could show her how good it could feel.
”Relax your muscles” Caelen ordered into her mind with his gift of compulsion. Though the command was a strange one and had a chance of not working, you couldn’t really control their brain, only minds and relaxing was as much of a brain act as a mind one. Though if it didn’t work Aife would still be able to hear the trancelike voice in her head and hopefully would try to do as it said. It would hurt a lot less if she wasn’t so tense, that he knew for sure.
As the crimson liquid was rushed to him more quickly, Caelen released his tight hold off of her hip to slide along her side. His fingers worked in small soothing circles as they moved and he slipped his hand under her shirt. Her skin was wet and Caelen wondered for a moment if she was hot, unless it was the pain only that had caused her to sweat in such a way. He trailed his hand from her hipbone to her spine as slowly as he was able in his small act of comfort. He was looking for a way to get her mind off of the uncomfortable pressure in her neck and if Aife was able to concentrate on his moving hand rather than his lips things would be much easier for her.
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Aife clutched to Caelen, her nails digging into him as she waited, her body rife with apprehension. It was terrifying- not knowing what was going on. Would there be more pain, or just more pressure? And whatever happened to the fabled pleasure that was supposed to come from all the pain? Her brows furrowed as she sat in Caelen's lap, her eyes closed as their tears dried. She held still, trying to avoid the creaks of pain that sent her back arching and fists clenching. It was like trying to hold on to an electrically charged bar- the shocks were infrequent, and difficult to predict, and they bolted through her, bringing muffled cries from her chapped lips.
Caelen's grip on her neck became firmer, and Aife could feel herself relaxing as an odd calm washed over her. The pain was just as intense, yet somehow, she could take it now, and she quietened slowly, her muscles easing into a loose stand as they released their vicelike grip. Her mind less muddled, she could think now, and she became very aware of Caelen's own grip loosening as his fingers traced along her side. Panic rising in her, Aife moaned in protest- dreading the moment when his icy fingers would leave her. Pinpoints of relief against the searing fervor, it seemed like they only made it worse when they left, leaving in its wake a trail of rising heat.
Before Aife could attempt to remove her arms from their embrace, she felt Caelen's digits slip under her camisole, his fingers brushing along her side as the soaked cloth pulled away. The cotton lifted from her side, relieving the wet, vexed skin as Caelen's flesh brushed against her own. His fingers crawled along her, moving slowly from hip to spine, causing Aife to tremble in his arms. The movements grabbed at her mind, bringing her attention from the harsh pulsing at her neck to the trendles of icy friction that traced along her flesh. The feeling soothed her, and her breaths began to steady from their formerly ravaged gasps.
Caelen's lips pressed harder against Aife's neck, returning slight amounts of attention to the area between ministrations. The pain began to fade, pressure replacing with dull throbs that racked her system. She struggled to maintain consciousness as the lull began to relax her muscles, shutting down their desire to move. Her arms were still clutching at Caelen's neck, and she pulled one down to cover the hand that held her own neck in place. She tugged, letting Caelen release the grip before she pulled it to join the other hand on her back. Her hand returned to his neck, their embrace pulling him closer.
Caelen's heady scent filled her nostrils as Aife hugged herself to him, and she breathed deeply. It seemed like he was waiting for something, expecting. His fingers, still taking their repetitive course across her hot flesh, sent chills up her spine, soothing the tension as her body raged with apprehension. Her eyes opened as she clutched him to her, pressing her neck harder against his lips. She calmed as the dull throb subsided, giving way to a soft, ticklish feeling that ebbed and flow through her. Aife grasped Caelen as she waited, her nerves tingling as the odd feeling rose slowly, beginning at the base of her neck, and ebbing through her system.
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Time has appeared to have slowed as he drank from her. The sweet nectar that slid down his throat was the cause of the strange slow moving world he was in as everything became so much louder and clearer. He could hear the very loud beating of her heart as it thumped frantically against her chest. It seemed Aife has finally decided to calm down but still her heart raced. She was nervous he realized, she was expecting something to happen so her heart raced even as he was drinking from her. Her breathing was also very loud in his ears. The small almost shallow breaths that escaped her lips were what was keeping him so very distracted as the blood flowed.
He wasn’t able to resist enjoying the sweet liquid as he wanted to and the more he drank the harder it was becoming to fight the urge of crushing her against him so the blood never stopped flowing. It was so very intoxicating, and he was being lured by it. His mind was muddled and clouded with thoughts of getting every drop that he could and making sure to pull away before he took too much from Aife. He wasn’t confused, just frustrated. He wanted both but obviously that wasn’t going to happen and there was no way he was going to hurt Aife. As long as she continued breathing he was able to pull himself out of his bloodlust induced state.
His eyes closed as he held firmly to his decision but every now and again tugged her a little closer to him. Aife wasn’t fully human, he saw that now and wondered what she was. Her blood was much too sweet to be human, it had a soothing effect on him, made him believe that it was never ending and he could continue to keep on drinking. But the way he felt her body lean against his as she started to go weak clearly showed that wasn’t the case. He was surprised by her actions as she pulled his hand away from her neck to bring it around her back. But there was no protest from him as he allowed her to do so. Now she was more tightly pressed him against him and her hands were wrapped around his neck. He was aware of everything as she rested her head on his shoulder. Her breathing got softer and a small smile reached his eyes as they opened.
It finally happened and for that he was glad. Her pain had subsided. Well that’s what he got from the way she pushed closer to him and brought her neck further up causing his fangs to go in deeper. Caelen straightened so that he was no longer hunched over but as he moved he pulled Aife with him, making it so she no longer sat on his lap but straddled him further. Caelen moved the hand that wasn’t making movements on her back lower so that he could hold her up more steadily and the other stopped it’s motions to get a grip on her hip. He was no longer worried at all about her trying to get away from him since Aife seemed to be the one that was pushing her neck forward into his mouth instead of the other way around.
Her breathing turned softer thought still shallow and held a tinge of pleasure in it that confirmed his thoughts. Though he had wished it happened earlier he couldn’t be more happy that she was no longer in pain. Now his only worry was that she didn’t faint from the lack of blood or fall asleep on him. It would be much harder to stop if he couldn’t feel or hear anything that signified she was still conscious and with her sweet blood already trying to take over his mind it was something he wanted to avoid. . Not to mention that if Aife did faint he would most likely go into panic mode and make it a bigger problem that it really was.
Her pulse was beginning to slow which meant she was relaxing and another problem was beginning to arise. With Aife so close to him and breathing so softly against his neck it was getting harder to concentrate on the task at hand than on other things. Each small sound she made nearly brought him to the edge of insanity with the need to elicit more from her. He pulled her closer, a somewhat annoyed look crossing his face as his eyes looked down towards her back. Funny that it wasn’t until now that he realized how close exactly the two were and how this would look to someone if they happened to somehow find them. There was no doubt in his mind that they would get the wrong idea with the way they were situated.
She really was fully straddling him with her knees on either side of his waist and his hold on her hip was the only thing keeping her from sitting comfortably on him. He had considered releasing her waist but with his new discovery it seemed that would not be the best idea if he planned to keep his sanity. Her hands were traveling down his back as she continuously pressed against him and each time she did so he had to grip her hip tighter to try and keep her steady. At this point his feeding was all but forgotten and Caelen didn’t at all notice that he had long ago stopped the draining at her neck as his very frustrated mind was going elsewhere. Mostly bringing up previous thoughts that he’s had very similar to this moment. Though he never at all thought that there was a chance they’d ever come true, but this moment was very real. Aife’s soft breathing was a constant reminder of that.
It wasn’t until now that he noticed that Aife’s skirt had risen up with the amount of shifting they had been doing on the couch. He could very fully see most of her legs as the brown material of her skirt stopped barely mid-thigh and exposed the rest of the creamy white skin that was begging to be touched. His thoughts shifted to the feel of her skin when he had slipped his fingertips under her shirt to run her back earlier and now he only wondered if the new patch of exposed skin would feel as warm and so very slick.
Aife moved again pushing her neck further up and released a noise that was very close to a whimper and a moan of annoyance. Again he held her still pulling her back down as his mind was much too preoccupied to notice his lack of activity at her neck. Of course this only caused her to move again and released a louder whimper that was laced with impatience, Caelen gave a small groan of his own that was mostly out of frustration. He really wished she would stop moving against lest he embarrasses himself or cross the line on how close exactly he could get to her. His eyes closed briefly and he moved his head further towards her neck, now he realized the reason for all her movement. He was no longer drinking which meant the sensation at her neck had stopped and she was annoyed.
Instead of resuming his actions Caelen decided to simply pull away from her neck. The fangs retracted back into the gums and he pulled his head back slightly once they were done. The small puncture wound was still seeping blood as he looked at it and he returned his lips to the wound. He swirled his tongue around the skin to lap up the trickle of running blood as he closed his eyes again, determined to keep his mind focus on her neck and not anything else. Especially the fact that she was still pushed so tightly against him. Once the wound stopped seeping blood he released a small breath against her neck only to grit his teeth together very quickly once Aife resumed to her sitting position.
He wasn’t sure what exactly he should say to her as he felt her become more relaxed against him. The only thing he really could think about was what he wanted to do which was moved his grip from her hip to along the milky skin of her bended leg and thigh. But Caelen of course had a great deal of restraint and so he released another breath of frustration and bit down on his lip as once again she moved. ”please stop doing that…” He said finally once his voice had returned and though the words still sounded force as he held on tightly to his control.
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Nervous flutters of pleasure surged through her as Aife latched herself against Caelen, her body yearning to be even closer to his despite the death grip he maintained on her waist. She cuddled herself against him, relaxing into his chest as her slender fingers held his back. The icy cool of Caelen's lips against her neck centered the hot, heavy feelings that slipped over her, blinding her to any conscious thought or action. She simply leaned, resting herself against the support of Caelen's strong form, her body so trusting in his arms.
Slowly Aife's strong sight began to wane, and she could no longer focus on any specific thing. She closed her eyes to the heady feeling, and rested her head in the crook of Caelen's neck. The soaring pleasure quite easily began to overwhelm her, and her sighs and short moans increased with the pleasure. Her hands gripped Caelen's back as her neck pushed against his lips, causing the paired talons to sink deeper into her crimson drenched skin. She murmured intelligibly when he pulled her closer, reveling in the urging of his hands as the soft pads of his fingertips and palms brushed against her.
Lacking his touch, the pleasure was merely sweet. But the pressure applied by his touch was an ever present reminder of what was happening, and who was causing it. Aife smiled absently when Caelen pulled her closer, bringing her legs to a full straddled across his hips. The movements of his hands were pinpoints in the haze that fogged her mind, leaving her lost in a dreamlike state.
The thudding in her ears, the only thing that carried itself from the earlier rise of pain, was now fading slowly from her ears. Softer and with less of a sense of rush, it was with difficulty that Aife could hear it at all. An urgent sense of relaxation and calm slowed everything around her, and breathing became less imperative than bothersome. Coasting on the constant wave of pleasure that crashed against her, she felt her conscious state slipping from grip with every listless sigh and shallow breath.
Lost in a blissful world of excited senses and calm, soothing ebbs, Caelen's thoughts or feelings rarely crossed Aife's mind. But slowly, and almost absently, she felt a searing and very real withdraw at the what was quite possibly the brink between ultimate pleasure and a lost conscience. The myriad of feelings began to wane, and, leaving her, pulled the pleasure with them, and pushed her slowly back to consciousness. Irritated at the sudden change in senses, she pressed herself against Caelen, her legs gripping around his.
Physically, she begged for more, urging him to continue, to not stop now. It was like the glorious rush for a splendid oasis, and only upon arrival did you find a valley of cracked sand and a humid sea of hot air. Was the pleasure that her body so slowly raced for merely an illusion, a mirage? The thought angered her- what was the point if there was no prize? The loss made her angry, and stirred greedy, selfish emotions in her. She felt drunk and lost with annoyance, and she pressed the milky skin of her neck still harder against Caelen, urging him to continue. She was losing the pleasure- and it was fading fast.
Insatiable urges fought to topple the sane reasoning of her mind. Cool air swept against her, chilling her to the core as it brushed her hot cheeks, sweltering arms, and damp thighs. Longing followed, rising her soul to panic in the absence of the suction calling her blood to Caelen's lips. She released a shallow, irate cry, and felt him push against her, his hands pulling her back down into his lap. A second whimper coupled with a soft grind of her body against his elicited a rewarding groan from him, making Aife grin wildly as she searched for more purchase against him.
Caelen returned his lips to her neck, his soft, plump lips opening leisurely against the damp skin. Aife's eyes widened as she felt the moist muscle of his tongue glide over the space. A smile traced her lips shortly at the soft but enticing feeling, and she again stretched her neck wide, the better for him to access it. His sweet, frigid breath graced the hot flesh, teasing her expectant pose. Aife sat up as he removed his lips, her gaze stormy and annoyed as she stared at him.
Caelen's vice like grip on her hip was strong and controlling, but for once that was the last thing on Aife's mind. The sudden lack of feelings she'd been so overwhelmed by left her needy and jaded in his arms. She moved again, settling herself more comfortably against him, her legs resting softly against the cushions on either side of his. Please stop doing that...
Aife focused her gaze on Caelen's, her brows furrowed in confusion. Stop doing what? Her lips parted to speak, but selfishly, she ignored his words and leaned against him again, her arms supporting her as she tightened their grip around his neck, pulling her closer. Stop doing what? she asked him, her voice thick and low. Why did you stop? She peeked up at him before her lips, so close to the white, marbled skin of his neck, left a peck in the crook. I don't think I like this... if such pain, and such pleasure, leaves you so intolerably needy... I don't see how anyone likes it...
Aife moved back, just a bit, till her shining, navy orbs gazed into his green ones. It isn't... good. Right... she said, her words searching to convey the craving she felt. I want more... Her words were soft, trying, her gaze locked on Caelen's but traveling elsewhere. She sat still, her expression thoughtful but urgent. No... she mused. I need more... Reality came pulling back, and she looked at Caelen again, really looked. It was difficult for her to understand the look in his eyes, the expression on his face. She was even more confused at the nigh uncontrollable urge she felt to fill the void that now prevailed against her system.
Aife squared her shoulders let herself relax once more against Caelen. She felt like crying and screaming, like pulling her hair out and beating her fists, like singing for joy and throwing a tantrum, all at the same time. It was curious and violent, this need she had to recover whatever it was she lost. Her lips parted slowly as she laid soft, absentminded kisses across Caelen's collarbones, her mind racing as she struggled to sift through what was happening, and what all ready passed. She moved upwards, her lips landing softly on Caelen's as she thought, before she withdrew slowly.
Aife stared at him, her gaze sweeping his own, his cheeks, his lips, and she cocked her head. You shouldn't have stopped... she told him. The muddled, lost state left her perplexed. It almost hurts... I need it again. Or something... She leaned against him, pressing her body along his as she pulled her arms tighter around his neck. I don't know... I feel lost. Like you've taken something from me... She sighed, and nuzzled against him with a groan. Do it again... she pleaded. Please... just once more. Only once, I promise...
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It was either that Aife was enjoying the small torture that she was causing him, if she was even aware of it, or she really was just a very fidgety person. His words were fully ignored and she pulled closer to him to tighten her arms around his neck. Maybe he should have been more specific in his request since it seemed she was very confused about what she was suppose to stop doing. But he couldn’t really tell her to stop moving could he? Because than he would have to explain the reason he was asking her to do so and Caelen wasn’t very sure how well that conversation was going to go. His relationship with Aife was already so very delicate, he didn’t need her thinking that he wasn’t able to control his hormones.
Stop doing what? Her words came out low and held a tone of confusion as she looked at him. Of course he chose to just ignore the question as he wasn’t going to explain anything to her if she didn’t already get it. There was no point really and her mind was obviously very far away from the road his was treading and though part of him really wanted her to rise up from her very comfortable position to take her sit on the couch, the other part was rather enjoying her being so close to him. Only problem was the very irritating look but don’t touch mantra that his mind kept repeating as it made every second much more uncomfortable.
Why did you stop? Aife questioned knocking him out of the mantra and his brows narrowed slightly in confusion. For a moment he wasn’t sure what exactly she was talking about and he began to wonder if she had said something that he didn’t catch while his mind had been wandering. Uh… Caelen began searching his brain for anything he might’ve heard but not paid attention to, nothing was coming to mind and he gave up with a soft sigh. His frustration grew slightly as he felt bad for not answering her but it fled just as quickly as Aife placed a kiss on his neck. She pulled back and he stared at her as once again no words came to mind.
I don't think I like this... if such pain, and such pleasure, leaves you so intolerably needy... I don't see how anyone likes it... His eyes widened at her words as it finally clicked. So she was asking him why he stopped drinking. Well he really thought the answer would have been obvious considering the weak state he thought she should be in. You don’t like it but you’re annoyed that I stopped? Caelen asked raising an eyebrow and giving a light laugh. Her words were contradicting each other but than again that’s how it was suppose to be. The feeling of sudden emptiness that was left when the feeding ended was certainly not one that he liked. He’s only witnessed it once of course but it was nothing short of withdrawal. It was what often drove people into being bleeders, well for those vampires who kept them for that long.
It isn't... good. Right... Aife spoke in the same slightly confused tone as her voice came out softer than before. ”no it’s not” He told her quickly after though he was very sure that before he drained from her he told her it wasn’t good to want it. That of course went for both parties. He found it a bit masochistic that people actually wanted to be drained of their blood for their own pleasure, than when it ended them always wanted more like some sort of addict. That was very sick. I want more… No.... I need more... Aife spoke softly and sounded unsure of her words and Caelen gave a soft sigh. This was one of the reasons he rejected the idea. Everyone feels that way He told her deciding it would be some sort of comfort if she knew she wasn’t the only one.
Aife locked eyes with him and he felt a little nervous that she was going to question his strange behavior from earlier. He didn’t break her gaze as he watched her expression changed from one of confusion to aggravation. Of course he wondered what was going through her mind and did start to ask but his words were cut off again as her soft lips pressed against his collarbone. How did she even move forward so fast without him noticing? It was surprising that he hadn’t been anticipating her feather light kisses and so wasn’t prepared for her sudden forward movement. The grip on her hip was still holding steadily as he tried to not apply anymore pressure to it. He was sure if he held on any tighter it might start to hurt her.
He felt pathetic really that he was so much of a sensation junkie that light kisses against his neck were playing with his control. Fortunately Aife moved up to his lips and he was glad for the distraction though he could still feel her warm lips against his very cool skin. She pulled back and Caelen released a breath to calm his nerves as he watched her. You shouldn't have stopped... It almost hurts... I need it again. Or something... Her words came out soft and her tone was confused and Caelen again felt the need to just do what it was she wanted so she could smile at him. He knew that wasn’t an option, she was already going to be weak from what he drained and he wasn’t going to take anymore.
Aife leaned pressing against him and tightened her arms around his neck and Caelen gritted his teeth to suppress the groan that wanted to come forward. That He spoke finally with a small breath escaping his lips as his voice came out almost hoarse because of the noise he was holding back. Stop that He said breathing again and pulling closer to her despite his mind which was telling him to stop. He was hanging on to his good judgment by a thread and it was slowly failing. I don't know... I feel lost. Like you've taken something from me... Aife spoke softly and nuzzled against the movement, the movement vibrating through her body and he found himself trying to keep her still again with the hand still holding tightly to her hip.
Do it again... Please... just once more. I promise… Caelen closed his eyes at her pleading as he came to the conclusion that Aife must’ve known the affect she had on him. Of course he couldn’t do what she wanted to, but he wanted to very badly, anything that she wanted, as if he was under a spell. Can’t Caelen spoke keeping his answer as short as possible as it came out barely audible through the need filled tone that had taken over his voice. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself as he pulled closer to her, his head once against resting on her shoulder as the free hand moved up towards his back. and it won’t be any good He explained as his hand started to trail.
There no longer was the need to grip her hip to steady her as the last of his resolve broke. Now all he could think of was the feel of her skin against his own. Caelen moved his head deeper into the crook of her neck as his lips moved to where the fangs pierced the skin moments before. Now he only placed a lingering kiss against the flesh before continuing across her shoulder blade. As his mind as been screaming at him to do for what seemed liked years, he finally moved his hand down her hip. The rough material of her skirt was a great nuisance to him and finally it was out of his way as his fingertips reached the exposed thigh.
Slowly and with caution he ran them along her leg as he was expecting at any moment to be scolded for doing so. His other hand rested gently at her back to keep her steady against him and in place since he didn’t want to lose the feeling of her body pressing against hers. Caelen breathed roughly against her neck as frustration hit him. This really was not enough for him and though his hand moved gently back up her thigh and pushed the remaining of the skirt with it he knew it wouldn’t satisfy.
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That... Stop that... Caelen's voice was thick as he murmured his words. In her murky state of confusion, Aife barely registered what he said. Confused and slow minded, it took enough time for her to speak in semi-intelligent words without having to sift through his own. She smiled as she nuzzled against him, her nose inhaling deeply as it coveted Caelen's sweet, musky smell. The pressure of his hand on her hips held her in place, though she yearned to be closer to him, as close as she could be.
Aife's pleas were calm, but urgent. The more time that passed between now and the moment Caelen stopped drinking from her, the more agonizing the loss and ultimately, pain. For all this time, she was convinced that the act was what Caelen needed. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought it would be as vital to her as to him. Never tempted, always innocent, it seemed as though the buried obsessions of her soul were uncovered and the fulfillment of such lay waste to a new rise of craves. While it was said that the one way to fully rid oneself of temptation was to yield theirself to it, this one, solitary completion only seemed to leave her wanting for more.
As an addict yearns always for a new, momentous high, Aife could feel the wanting sensation mount in her being. Caelen's soft whisper met her ears, the hoarse word at odds with the tone of his voice. He wanted to do as she asked, she knew. It was quite obvious- in the way he spoke, how he held himself just so, trying desperately to keep her under his control. Can't... She rolled her eyes. Please? she breathed, the word stretching slowly as she pleaded once more. His iron grip pulled her closer, and his cheek met her shoulder as he rested his head in the crook of her neck. She hugged him tighter, and brushed her slender fingers over his back, gripping him tighter as they rose.
And... it won't be any good... Caelen's hands released their hold on her hips, and Aife's eyes closed tightly as she felt his lips push into her neck. They parted, kissing the soft, damp skin slowly before he moved to the delicate curve of her collarbone. She held still, terrified that any movement on her part would pull him back to reality, and halt his actions. A grin traced her lips as she let out a high, triumphant sigh. She wasn't sure if his proclamation was meant for her pleas, or for his resolve, but at the moment, she didn't quite give a care. His moist, tender lips moving against her skin was all her mind seemed able to take for the moment, and she found she really didn't mind.
Icy softness grazed the skin of her thigh, causing Aife's lids to fly open. The touch melted the hot, searing flesh, his skin replacing the heavy cloth of her skirt. Her skin flushed red from the light skimming of Caelen's hand. His free hand rested on her back, pulling her finally as close to him as either of them dared. She could feel the fullness of his body against hers, and she pulled him yet closer to her. His hot breath flared against the tender skin of her neck, shooting a tingle down her spine.
Caelen's fingers traced over the smooth skin of her leg, leaving frissons of electricity in their wake. As they retraced their coourse across her pearly white skin, Aife let herself rest against him, fear keeping her from much contribution. It was with great difficulty that she restrained herself at all, and the soft grazes only added to the building sensation that was quickly shifting from mental taxation to a very physical and surprising need. Anticipation teased her as his slow and careful ministrations eased along her hot flesh, testing the strength of her restraint greedily. Her breath caught in her throat as time slowed, his flesh inching tantalizingly against hers.
A rough gasp escaped from her lips as Aife felt Caelen's hands slide along her thigh, pushing away the tiers of cloth that covered the skin of her thighs. The chilled air of the secret room caused the searing flesh to fiz, and she held herself against him, her body stiff. There wasn't much difference between the skin of her cheeks, or the skin of her thighs, save that one you rarely saw in broad daylight, let alone grasped in your hands. Why was it that the soft brushes of his fingers brought so much stronger a sensation? It was fresh, and new, and a thick, heady heat spread over her as she buried herself against him. Her face flushed scarlett at the realization of what his caresses were doing to her.
In the silence of the room, broken only by their gasping breaths, Aife sat clasped in Caelen's strong grasp, much more comfortable with him than she'd ever thought she would be. It made her wonder, exactly how he was taking the feelings that must be coursing through his own body. Surely he could feel, or even hear, the thunderous clapping of her heart as it raged against her ribs. She wondered if the rush of her blood was at all similar. It was curious how he responded to her- at times so resolved, so sure. At others, so eager, even expectant, though never weak. Always strong. His strength echoed in his grasp, in the taught flesh of his lean arms, the precise movements of his lips against the skin of her neck.
Caelen's fingers grazed further along the flesh beneath her skirt, fully unveiling the soft, milky skin of her thighs. Aife sighed as his fingers gripped, pulling her yet deeper into his lap. She pulled her head away from its cradle on his shoulder, and let her arms slip around his waist as she landed her lips on his. Surprisingly, the red, swollen lips were hot, and moist, and she made no haste as she moved her own against them. The kiss was soft and slow, and she pressed her lips tight against his as they moved. Her eyes closed tightly, and Aife's brows furrowed with concentration. Time stretched beyond them in the hidden room, and she sensed that if she wished it, with the room's eager to please attitude, it could do so forever. Seeing no reason for rush, she lifted one hand to Caelen's neck and pulled him in closer.
Her tongue grazed his lips, tasting the sweet, musky flavour of the muscle. Aife smiled against Caelen's lips, her own curving delicately as she reveled in their closeness, and the myriad of flavours expelled by his seeping . She pulled away slightly, her lips skimming the flesh of his jaw. Nipping along his neck, her tongue grazed the hot flesh that cloaked the bones of his shoulder, her chin tucking into his collar as her lips pursed against his collarbones. She paused at his clavicals, her breath hot against the stretched skin as she offered soft, slow kisses. Caelen... Aife murmered softly as she rose her gaze to meet his. You do not have to, she told him, her voice low and hesitant. But dear lord, how you've teased me... if not by blood, there must be other ways to still this burning...
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